You said for me to always be open with you. That it was safe to be vulnerable with you. You told me you would never abandon me, or judge me.
So then... why did you?
Do you know how hard it was for me to tell you that I hurt myself?
I've been telling you for weeks that I've been overwhelmed and depressed. Last week I even told you why I ask for so much of your time and it's because I felt lonely. You said, "If you told me before, I would have set aside more time for you." Was that a lie?
If you had paid attention to me... you would have known. All the signs were there, but you didn't take it seriously. You kept telling me "Well, [indirectly] change this about yourself, and change that. Be this, be that. It's easy!"
When I told you, you went cold, and yelled at me. You didn't sound like yourself. You sounded aggressive. You sounded disgusted with me, like I'm a disgrace. I'll never forget that. You left and didn't come back for an hour, leaving me to feel even worse about myself. Making me feel guilty.
People who cut themselves don't need more guilt. They don't need your anger. They don't need a lecture. What they need is comfort and LOVE.
The next day you completely ignored me. "Sorry, what you said traumatized me." Okay? Why are you making it about yourself? You want me to apologize for being so depressed I wanted to kill a part of myself? Why not try helping and actually being there for me because I clearly need it? "You want me to feel sorry for you?!" NO! That's the last thing I want... I just want you to understand and not shun me for it or call indirectly call me weak.
If you can't handle me at my darkest moments, you don't deserve me at my brightest. Which is going to come. I am strong, with or without you. I will rise from this. I already am. Your whiney, over-sensitive ass only ever brought me down and you were part of the reason why I got so fed up with life, I felt the need to do it.
I'm in a fit of hurt and rage over your reaction. No one should have to feel like that after confessing something so heart wrenching. No. That person needs your support more than anything and you just f****** disappeared.
I'm waiting for the emotions to subside before I make a decision. But I've lost respect for you and I am ready to live without you... Don't forget all the times I was there for you, even with you icing me out, I was there. How f****** dare you.