Thoughts of cheating on my boyfriend
I know that's terrible, but it keeps creeping in the back of my mind. He's wonderful but on an emotional level we don't understand each other and it puts a strain on our relationship whenever something bad happens. He doesn't spend a lot of time with me and the time he does spend with me is me listening to him talk, rant, and complain about everything, which I don't mind listening but i'd like a turn. it makes me feel insignificant and maybe if he gave me a chance to tell him about things that occur in my life he wouldn't get so surprised when I suddenly "act out" in a way he deems unfitting. He wants space, space, space and I want time together, but I also want him to be happy and not stressed. I'm not sure how to fulfill both needs, so usually I end up distracting myself with others things and when I don't have distractions, I find myself talking to other guys. I used to have a ton of guys chasing me when I first met my boyfriend. Afterwards, I deleted and ignored all of them, especially when my bf started getting depressingly jealous. A few of them still message me, and I don't answer until I feel really lonely. There's no flirting, a few jokes here and there, but it still threatens my boyfriend and I know that for the guy it's more than a conversation, it's a courtship. The obvious answer is break up with him but that's sad. We get along great it's just certain needs not being taken care of. Is that really something to break up over? btw this is my first relationship. I'm not experienced so I have no clue. I'd love to find a common ground with him so we can both be happy but so far it's me catering to his needs and trying not to step on eggshells while he does his best not to stress over his hectic schedule.