I am sick and tired of always being the grown up one when others should be the example. I'm 19 been with my partner for 2 years straight been through it all my mother is going through a divorce things are tough living in a one bedroom with 5 people here I finished school start college In 2 weeks ever since my second older brother came around things changed sometimes I go to work without lunch because he eats all the food I buy. I help my mom a lot always have my brother doesn't he's the second oldest he's gone through weight depression it's been 4 years we finally moved him in with us because that's what my mom wanted he's here now but things aren't the way I imagined ! I get the stress he doesn't work always uses my moms phone and never talks to anyone! He doesn't clean up after himself and has no care for what my mom feels. I buy groceries give my mom when I have money. Lately everyone is stressed too stressed to sit down and talk so all we get out is yelling and arguing it came to the point that I came down to a choice to leave with my partner and get a 1 bedroom just for us start from scratch because eventually it will have to happen. We've slept in the living room floor for almost 2 years it sucks when you want to put part and one person never wants to try because the other person protects your wrongfulness just because your a weak soul. Me and my mother don't speak at all it's just weird. My gf doesn't work because I make good money for us so she stays home and has to clean up after my brother which is not right that she's in between all this deep down I feel bad for leaving my mother in times that she needs me the most because I'm all her emotional support in times like this but in the other hand she's got a reason to be right and say we need to get our own place and leave my family behind since my brother won't do a thing to better himself. And my mother doesn't listen to my references to reality she's stuck in always defending my bro even if he's wrong just because that's her favorite deep down it hurts inside but I start college in 2 weeks I get really bad anxiety and depression easily that I feel if I stay I will not make it with 12 hr shifts and school and homework then dealing with my family where do I stand in between all of this? Do I leave or keep trying or leave and do me


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  • Coming from someone who personally knows sometimes they just gotta see for themselves the sibs issues before they'll belive thing is to slowly start adding boundries & breaking away & learning to love & help from a distsnce within boundries...b/c sometimes once these things come up that's the only hope of a way out w/o completely turning away & the only way things get better.

  • I understand that some family dynamics are different. And when there are a lot of children and single parents, that children pitch in. I think that can be unfair, but it happens. That's all well and good, but at some point children need to leave the nest and fend for themselves. You are 19, it's time to really start living your life. Leave and start college. You and your gf should find your own place. Your gf should get a job. Your relationships with your mom, brother and other siblings will most likely improve. But at some point you are not fully responsible for them. Let your mom deal with your brother. She'll figure it out. They are her kids. Maybe if you have something to help out when you can is a nice gesture, but you shouldn't be expected to do so.

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