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I kind of fell away from God these last few years and I am trying to get back to him but I am just so much more afraid than I was the first time and thinking he doesn't want me back, etc, or that I have to give up all my free will or that I have to go back to thinking like a high schooler because I really am much smarter now, I just want to be myself with him, because it really was beautiful before all the liberals and conservatives got in the way.
God will always accept you back. The story of the prodigal son isn't about some random father and son: it's about God and us. And if you're even slightly familiar with the Old Testament, you'll know that God always allowed the Jews to come home. He is what we always call, but don't always remember, "the God of second chances". His love is absolute and eternal. The problem of free will is, well, a problem. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on one's perspective, we CANNOT give it up: it is a part of who we are and what we are. The good news is that love only has a meaning and a power within the realm of free will's existence: without free will, love is just a rote and robotic display. If you love God, he will take you back. If you allow him, he will BRING you back. Be well.