I have a pain and injury fetish. Sometimes when I am watching a movie, and someone gets injured, I respond one of three ways:
1- Get very uncomfortable, because their cries of pain are unrealistic.
2- Uncontollably smile.
3- Get a warm, radiating feeling that seems to start from my heart, and ends at my stomach.
At night, I also engage in a sick, demented role play where my character gets injured. I enjoy coming up with stories to how my character got the injury. I even act as if I had been hurt in some way; it gives me a chance to work on my wincing, grimacing, groaning, crying, etc. At times, I also like to harm myself by: Bludgeoning my rib cage and my breastbone with a rather large sand-filled bottle to the point of fracturing them, constricting my b****** with a towel until they turn a lovely shade of blue, clawing myself, scratching my legs until I get hives, purposely straining the tendons in my shoulders and pelvis, running around the school track until I start showing signs of heatstroke, and then depriving myself of water, and I also have attempted to dislocate my hip. But I don't do this because I hate myself; I just want to know how it feels to get injured in different ways. It's fun, to me at least.

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  • Watched a video yesterday where a girl lays face down on her bed and hangs herself from as ligature tied above. Her tongue naturally protruded and her face momentarily turned blue. Very strange to watch but couldn't turn off. She survived by the way, suicude was not the intention.

  • Wow.

  • That's non-sexual by the way.

  • Try tying your wrists above your heat and hanging there. It is excruciating. I end up screaming and wishing I was not so dumb and then like a month later I will do it again.

  • I will try that. Thanks, VanishingLuna

  • Wow...disturbing

  • I disturb myself sometimes...

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