I don't know if he really wants me

I've been in a LDR/online with a guy on the otherside of the world. We don't really know everything about one another and we don't talk to each other in calls or vid chat ever but we love each other.. I hope. He says he wants to move here but there has been no real talk of this or any set date or even an estimation. I start to wonder what he really plans to do but he tries to assure me that we will be together. Just because he spends money on me and talks to me daily does this mean we will be together. Who knows. I can't be sure. I wonder if people are satisfied with an online/text only "relationship".. ? I have heard him before but no love chat. I'm concerned. My family know about him and are hopeful for me. It scares me to maybe have to tell them I failed at this even. I talk to him about it and I just get the same response. I kust let it be because he's the one that has to move countries (his choice). It scares me too because someone on here admitted they wanted to move countries but "not for her" they wanted to move to Australia and 6 months before they want to fall for some blonde bombshell he could meet there instead.. great guy he sounds like. From what I know my bf ? Wouldn't ever be like this but then what do I really know. People here and everywhere seem to always say things to please (lie) and can be quite selfish. Maybe he just needs someone to chill and talk to and feel close to online. This is horrible to me. I want him. Here. Soon. To know.. He is actually mine. Am I wrong?


  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • Why don't you set a date when he can come visit. You haven't even met in person have you? Spend a week together...if he comes up with excuses why he can't, you may have your answer.

  • Thank you for saying. He never says anything in reply to that. I have mentioned it. He just talks about other things. And later says things such as "when we are together.." Etc etc. I agree a lot though. He says he's working on something because he wants to prepare well for a family. I think it's just weird sometimes. I stressed these things to him but it's like unimportant to him or something. I'm supposed to just wait. I guess I should just do things myself and not rely on him solely. But he has started to work h****** things and said it's because he is doing it for us so I should wait it out. He says my fears and me trying to be just friends is debilitating to his progress and ours. Thanks for taking the time to get back. I didn't think this was a good site to post about it.

  • My fear for you is that you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to progress. And you have to figure out on your own.. how long are you willing to wait. Because this guy could have thousands of reasons for why not, but never for why. And where does that get you? I think LDR and online relationships can only go so far. At some point, you need to go to the next level to get to know someone. This guy has a lot of excuses and he sounds a bit controlling. For all you know, he could be married or hiding other things. You are being true and honest with your heart and your feelings. I'm not so sure about him. Seriously, he needs to come out to meet you and stay with you. This needs to be a non-negotiable point. Set a deadline. Because if he's really serious about you and this relationship, then he can make it happen. And it's so important for your futures together (if it's a possibility) - You need to see how you feel about him in person. Think about it in these terms.. lots of people do online dating. They think Wow.. great profile, and they can talk on the phone or email with ease. And then they meet each other and find out they have zilch for chemistry. So really.. consider have him actually give you a date and do not let this issue go. Otherwise, you may have your answer. And if that's the case, best to know now then to let anymore time go by. You deserve a really great guy, who wants to spend time with you..don't settle for anything less.

  • Thank you so much. I feel really bad because I push him away and he hates it. We do nothing but argue all the time now. We don't even get along anymore. So yeah I don't think he is serious about me and he is hiding things from me and I don't think we have a future at all. And he is trying to hold onto me for reasons I don't know but there are others out there I wish he'd just meet someone who needs something temporary and doesn't mind things not going anywhere. Everything you say is what I know in my heart and mind and he makes me feel bad about myself when I say these things and stick to it. I've been quite a b**** because of the way I feel about things and us not having any contact outside of online makes me know for sure that he doesn't care for more and is hiding things. Thank you.

  • Text only? No video? How long till he asks for money.

  • He actually bought me things. Thanks for your reply.

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?