I hate my 15 year old daughter.
I have three boys - 26, 25, and 19. I have a pretty decent relationship with all of them - and they have all turned out to be decent human beings (two college grads - a pilot and an accountant, and one in college now - all daying their girlfriends 2+, 3+, and 5+ years. However, with my 15 year old daughter - it is another story entirely. She has an IQ higher than mine and my husband's, than almost all of the kids at her scool, and her teachers - yet she's failing every class - for no reason other than she doesn't like to turn s*** in. We just dished out $400 for her to take an online English course for summer - and she waits until the last minute to work on her assingnments. That worked okay the first few weeks - but finally caught up with her this week when she realized she couldn't "cliff notes" her way through a test on "The Odyssey". ...Just like we told her she wasn't going to be able to do. This is all from a girl who takes all honors classes and won the 6th and 7th grade spelling bee two years in a row at her middle school of over 1,000 kids, then placed 7th and 4th in the county bee. She's too smart for her own good. She knows "everything" already. She is hormonal, has few friends, and has Asperger's. It's like she's been whammied all around - but she super HATES us for her entire existence. I almost lost her when I was six weeks pregnant. Lately, I can't help wondering how different my life would be, had the miscarriage completed... I realize I sound like a HORRIBLE parent...but what I haven't said yet is how much - from the time I was six weeks pregnant I have done for her....E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!! I have prayed for her, loved her, cared for her, protected her, helped her learn to eat, bathe, tie her shoes, all the normal stuff...amd then some - counseling, testing, defending, supporting, sports, music lessons, EVERYTHING WE CAN THINK OF. From the time she walked until she turned 10 (almost that exact date), I would come home and she would run to me with arms open, smiling so big, shouting happily "MOM!!!", and great me with the biggest hug. Then, like lightening, like a swithch, it all crashed and went to h***. She ABSOLUTELY REFUSES to follow any rules ANYWHERE, EVER. She eats in her room, it is a complete pig pen, literally GROWLS AT US when we ask her about school work, or chores, or anything. Like - I don't even want to come home anymore AT ALL. I absolutely hate dealing with this lazy, manipulative, lying, selfish, hateful, completely useless teenage girl. And while I'd give a kidney to save her life - I feel like I equally fkng hate who she has grown into as a person...and I mean H-A-T-E. And based on the YEARS AND YEARS of counseling, teacher appts, social groups, and behavioral interventionists suggestions, etc. - she's going to end up living with my husband and I forever...or at least well into adulthood. I've never been a perfect mother - but she has me considering suicide every few days from the pain and anguish of failing at motherhood with her. But I can't be cruel enough to her to actually do it... F---M---L.