I am not afraid of myself dying.
Of course, I don't want to die right now as there are still things that I haven't finished, but if I do die in the near future, I'm not afraid.
I'd be sad for all of my family if I knew Iwas going to die; as they would be sad if I knew I was. I don't adhere to any religion as such, so I don't believe in any afterlife and I don't think that I would like to carry on existing forever. I would much rather just simply pass into the void. I have been anaesthetised before and I imagine it would be like that except not waking up.
I am someone who feels emotions very deeply and grief is something that affects me a lot. I hate having to deal with grief as it's a horrible emotion to have to feel.
What I'm truly afraid of, is having to deal with the grief I will feel from losing my parents and family and pets. I'm so afraid of doing that I attempted suicide last year.
I was 14 then.
The only thing that stops me from trying again is that I know that my parents will be sad if I die before them and I don't want them to have to go through that.
I'm crying right now, just from writing this and there really isn't any reason to cry!
I just want this to end. Why was I even born? I don't want this life.