Third people boyfriend, me and his ex living together..

I got one confession, I really don't know who I can share with, hope it would be heard and understand by someone who has the same situation with me. It was 2 years in long distance relationship with my boyfriend before I left my country to come with him.I left everything behind, hope for a new change in the future. During 2 years, he came back twice a years, we also traveled together to Thai LAN.And as we chat everyday, I know he own his apartment in the capital ,living alone and he is a doctor.Everything is very stable. The very first day when I came, I stayed in his parent's house in his hometown. My aim is to see his dad, and enjoy the summer in this beautiful countryside.He also has 3 weeks for holiday, we had a really good time together. Nothing happened until one months staying and I asked him I wanted to go to stay in his apartment. At that moment, I know the true story. He is actually living with his ex girlfriend and they have been stocked to each others for 10 years.That was too socked to me.He also said he couldn't say it until I was here.However, his ex and him just stay as roommate coz they haven't had s** for long time. Guess what?? It is a month I have been in his apartment, 3 people together and I had to control myself a lot coz this house is full of their stuff and memories.I feel like I was the third stupid girl. Until now, I still feel very unpleasant when thinking about my life so far. Because there is some problems and his ex has a job near the apartment, so it is hard for her to move out as well as they have been in that apartment for 6 years.Living and being with her become the habit, it can not be change or give away immediately. They also sleep in same bed...I got my own bed and sleep alone in his office room. I know, not many people can understand this situation, that's why I hope, someone who have ever been or have any experiences about it, please guide me, givee more energy to get through this situation. I love him, he loves me too but this situation is hard for him to solve.He can not even asked his ex to move out.


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  • I'm sorry i can not offer advice, hope you can figure it out, or find someone new, he is not letting go of this woman !! good luck

  • Who is the 3rd wheel in this scenario? It sounds like you...He never left this relationship and sounds like he has no plans to either. What is so great about this guy??? And why are you staying? It sounds like punishment. It's not that hard to solve. And that's a bunch of bull s*** your bf is feeding you..because he doesn't want to hurt anyone? He's hurting you. If you want things to change, you will need to be the one to solve it. Otherwise, this will be your life for the unforeseeable future.

  • Actually, we got a really tough time figuring out what to do then. I told him I don't want this situation long lasting, he thought so too.It is just temporary because the problem is his ex can not move to anywhere else, this is her home and her finance is not enough to move out, living alone.My boyfriend doesn't like to make anyone get trouble with finance or facilities, that's why he allowed her to live in same apartment. The things I wanna figure out is your advice to help me keep on living... I have changed my life and I will try to earn money here..I can not just go back to my country. I just couldn't share it to anyone, even my mom because I know...this is f****** hard and weird situation ever...

  • It does not sound like this is going to work out. This is not a normal situation. Is it possible that you can return to your native country?

  • I can not go back.I chose to leave and now I got a part time job.I will try to build my new life here. It is just so hard that I have to share, I also put myself into his ex too, it's gonna hard.. When we get habit of living with someone, especially for 10 years , even though now they are not couples anymore but still very hard to split out... I really don't know how to solve this problem

  • You sound crazy. If they ARE NOT TOGETHER he has no reason to be sleeping in the bed with her. He should be sleeping with you in your room!!! Don't be a fool and believe everything he tells you.

  • I was deep in bad mood for many days before sleeping time. I always told him about I couldn't live like this, but he told me he didn't want to hurt anyone, the problem is they has been for so long, he said just because there is only one big bed, couldn't cut it out.And it's hard for him to asked his ex to sleep on sofa or move to my small bed and I move in to sleep with him. I feel very bad..but I am still try to be as happy as I can...:(

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