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** me

I hate my ** life, living with depression, only ever had 1 Gf and she dumped cos it was "too hard", luckily not a virgin, I spent god knows how many years becoming a historian, hoping that by the time I'm done there will be a decent job for me, but nothing, I spend most of my life laying in bed crying, masturbating, cutting myself or any mix of those ( normally cutting and jacking it or jacking it and crying). God am I pathetic, I need somebody, something to anchor ne to this world, when I was with her, I felt, normal, not dead and hollow inside, I smiled, quite often, I have never really smiled since she left me. I want to ** die.

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