I'll be 70 in less than six months

I've had problems all of my life. Asthma my entire life and some sort of anxiety, learning disorder that caused me to fail college. In addition to this, I have spinal scoliosis.

I have been fired six times during my lifetime and laid off four and here I am now unable to work anymore because my health problem have all caught up with me plus I am too old to work anymore.

I inherited enough money to retire. I also collect social security. If it had not been for the support of my family I'd have ended up my days wheezing to death in a cardboard box.

My two best friends died and my third friend has apparently lost his mind and no longer gives a s*** about me.

Sitting here I'm amazed that I'm still alive. Many seemingly healthier people in my life have passed away and here I still sit thinking about things.

I fear the future. I'll live and die alone and my greatest fear is to die in my house and stink up the building. That happened to one of my neighbors and one of my bar buddies. Like I said they died and their bodies weren't discovered until their bodies were in an advanced state of decay. It took an entire year to get the stink out of the house.

They ended up like that because no one gave a s*** about them. They died alone and unnoticed.

I'm going to sell this house and go into an assisted living home so that I at least won't smell the room up after I die and if I have any money or valuable property left it will go to someone, anyone who shows a trace of compassion for me.

I quite frankly wish it was me that was gone instead of my friends.

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  • Oh i know that feeling my friend of 12 years died (terrible) i looked after him though a stroke and cancer he was all clear then he got murdered, life is never easy, if your lonely maybe go into that home ive always loved my own company i dont need others all people are different.

    dying alone is not a problem to me i was born alone and i will die alone so what? what ever age you are your still in the middle part until your on the death bed then thats the end part , beginning, middle and end .

  • Really sad, sorry for you

  • That is sad, I hope you find some new friends at the asst living place

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