The paper trail

I've been dating this cute guy (he's 24, I'm 25) for a few months, and I've been thinking he has borderline marriage potential. He's kind, loving, literate, and romantic (buys me flowers, writes me poems). We recently decided to deepen the relationship and move in together.

Last week I was sick for a few days, so I stayed home from work. We still had boxes of stuff lying around the apartment, so I spent some time unpacking them. I came across a bunch of my bf's diaries and, of course, the temptation to read them was too much. They basically document my bf's life for the last 7 years (thousands of pages) before we were together. I spent an entire day reading them. I now know all about his prior girlfriends, what they did, and how and where they did it. I get that, and it's no big deal. People have relationships and fall in and out of love.

I'm a little unnerved about some of the stuff that I read, though, to the point where I'm finding out my bf is someone different than the guy I've been dating. For example, I've learned that after high school he once went on a camping trip with friends that basically amounted to a week-long orgy. He also had a threesome with a male friend and his friend's then-pregnant gf. He also once got it on with a coworker at work. The details were tough to deal with, and were described in a way that it was like a vivid picture.

I haven't admitted to my bf that I read his diaries, but he has had a slutty side to him that kind of bothers me. Part of me is thankful that I've learned more about "the real him," but part of me wishes that I never knew. He is kind of a dog.

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15 Comments

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  • Run far, far, far away. He's a hidden psycho. Run far away and never look back. Dump his ass immediately. Do it now.

  • Nice violation there. You need to make sure he knows all the messed up, ridiculous and extremely private things you have done in your life. God why can't a woman just leave a man's dignity and memories alone? Why do you always have to dig and ruin things?

  • He should dump YOU.

  • Don't judge your guy, because of Hus past. He's with you now and everyone has a past. Get over it and enjoy your man, "in the here and now!!"

  • Wow just soo you know it doesnt matter who it is snoopers find things that wont make them happy....it sounds like u dont bring much to the table hes just doing a bunch of stuff for u

  • I don't see anything wrong with snooping through his diaries (don't tell him though). I think most people would, given the same circumstances. Just remember that you are looking at the past, not the present, and that he could be a very different person now.

    Also recognize that you need to be mature enough to handle what you might find, and realize that it has nothing to do with you and him in the here and now.

  • Yeah its wrong and disrespectful

  • I actually agree with these people below. You f***** up. You shouldn't have read private stuff. Also, we all have slutty pasts (ok many of us anyway) you just happen to know his now. And lastly, if you decide to give him up can you give me his number. I f****** love an open minded slutty man. ;)

  • The only difference between your bf and other men, is that you know what your bf has done. Believe it or not, there is safety in that. If you think he's a weirdo and you're going to go off and find a "normal" man, think again. Other men don't have less secrets than him, they just aren't dumb enough to write it all down and leave it lying around. All interesting men have skeletons. The only question is, are you the kind of girl who wants to know, or the kind of girl who has to be kept in the dark.

  • Well you f***** that didn't you.

  • You're a piece of s*** for reading his diary. It's private. He's the one that should reconsider living with you. Apparently your not to be trusted with private stuff laying around.

  • All men are dogs! Marry that dog if he makes you happy or leave him if he doesn't.

  • You're an imbecile. All men are dogs? Shut the f*** up you feminist piece of s***. You know nothing.

  • Please tell me what a b**** is ?

  • Idiot

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