I [20f] just moved into an apartment with my bf [24m] of about six months. We've been pretty serious, and have talked about getting engaged. I really love him. He's also majorly attractive, and I admit that I'm a little insecure about it, because although I'm good looking, I'm not sure what he sees in me.
Anyway, I was unpacking some of his stuff while he was at work and came across some of his diaries--he loves to write. I couldn't help but read them. Some of the stuff I read creeps me out and makes me question his morality, because he's done things like threesomes and even a gang bang once. I don't get why he would disrespect himself like that. It's like he doesn't understand that being intimate is a sacred thing.
The worst thing I came across was that he was s******* some lady who was 38, married, and pregnant. This was not even two years ago. It was a coworker of his (and might still be, I don't know). That he would violate another couple's marriage has me really upset, because it's not the vibe I've ever gotten from him. It's like seeing a whole different side of him, and one that I don't like.
Obviously I haven't brought any of this up to him, because I don't want him to know that I read his diaries. He has really treated me well, and I have no doubt that he is faithful to me at this time. I just worry about his morals, because in the past he hasn't been able to keep his d*** in his pants. I love him so much, and I want him to just be mine forever.