recently found out that my younger brother died a few years ago from an overdose. We both had f***** up childhoods. He was adopted by another family. I hadn't seen him in twenty years. I could have stayed in touch but chose to give him his space and let him make the decision to contact me if he wanted. I heard he was having trouble but didn't do anything. I never expected him to die. Our mother also died from an overdose when we were kids. I was a terrible brother. When we were kids instead of helping him and looking out for him, I hit hit, teased him and took out my anger on him. I am the one who should be in the grave. I'm the one who has nothing to live for. He was young and had so much to live for. My life is empty and meaningless. I am a terrible, worthless person who will live out the rest of my life alone and empty. It's what I deserve. It's my sentence. I used to be afraid of dying since everyone else in my family did but not anymore. I know I am being punished. I will live a long, lonely life. If I could trade places with my brother I would. He had so much to live for. He didn't deserve to die. I don't know the extent of his addiction but its understandable know what he wet through. He wasn't even 30. Didn't even start living. I could have and should have been there and done something. Please don't let any loved ones suffer from addiction. Please get them help before its too late.