I didn't expect that

My wife is a super sexy little thing, Short, cute, sexy, beautiful, Great body yada yada yada but she is shy and seldom ever shows off any part of her body, we have three kids and yeah maybe her b**** aren't great but the rest of her looks good, She actually weighs less than she did before having kids, I take every chance I can to tell her she did things when she is drunk that didn't actually happen just to see her embarrassment.
Saturday night I had a friend over, He lives a half hour out of town so when he comes in he usually sleeps on our couch, We were having some drinks and my wife invited a couple of her friends over and by about midnight I broke out the tequila, I poured shots for everyone and did my best to distract them all from the fact I wasn't having any, About three or four shots in my wife tried to tap out but I just kept pouring, Within an hour her friends had all stumbled home wasted and she stumbled off to the bathroom to puke.
We were about ten shots deep and my friend was wasted too, I got him undressed and put him in our bed and went to the bathroom, My wife was passed out in front of the toilet so I cleaned her up and stripped her naked then carried her to our bed, I laid her beside him and snuggled them up together and used his hands to squeeze her b**** a bit then I fell asleep.
I woke up first and looked over, He was spooning her and cupping her b****, I laid there peeking at them until finally I heard her say "Ugh, really", I opened my eyes and just then she took a deep breath and winced a little bit, At that moment I knew my friend had just stuck his d*** in her, Not quite what I had planned but I was too far in to stop it now so I just pretended to be asleep, I was peeking out of one eye and could tell he only pumped her about twice before she opened her eyes.
She FREAKED, She looked at me and a look of total panic came over her face as he pumped her from behind, She rolled away and screamed "What the f***", She punched him and elbowed me and jumped out of bed running for the bathroom then slammed the door, He looked at me with a look of fear like he was afraid I might kill him, I whispered "What the f*** are you doing?", He looked at me and said "I...I...Oh my god...I don't know", I said "Why the f*** are you in my bed?", He said "I don't know".
We got dressed and went to the kitchen and I stood looking at him, Neither of us saying a word and finally I said "Did you just f*** my wife?" He said "F*** man, I am so sorry, I was just laying there and I...F***...I didn't even think...I just...", I looked at him and said "Um...I think you better go" and all the way out the door he just kept apologizing.
When my wife came out of the bathroom she looked around sheepishly and asked 'Is he gone?", I nodded and stared at her, She looked at me and yelled "What the f*** was that?", I said "I was about to ask you the same thing", She asked what I meant and I told her I crashed first and woke up to her f****** my friend, She was completely confused and said "I have no idea what just happened, Why the f*** was he in our bed", After arguing for a few minutes I convinced her that I went to bed first and she brought him to bed and f***** him that night, She told me "I don't know what happened, I woke up and he was already trying to stick it in me, I thought it was you so I just...Let him".
She spent the day apologizing and crying to me and I haven't talked to him yet but I'll probably just let him off the hook, I know him and he is not going to tell his wife and I know my wife will never say anything so it will just be our little secret, I love that she thinks she spent the night f****** my friend and that she actually let him stick his d*** in her a couple times.

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  • When I said some thing about wanting to be fat and ugly and that things would be just more depressing and miserable in my life and I had to give up my pretty clothes to more deserving people I was sick when I said that so that is how I felt. I was ill. I don't feel this way anymore and I am sick of bayside family church abusing me getting people to repeat words that I said when I was sick, its as sick as ken raping me and what leigh and joyce did. the indian and marori women told me to make it clear to these scum churches and evil people that it no longer applies. they can see I was sick when I said those things I was physically and mentally sick from being stalked and threatened and bullied so I don't need a church to continue the bullying and if they keep doing it I am reporting it to police.

  • You should write books and get paid. That was hilarious.

  • If true, the OP is 'gaslighting' both his wife and friend. Total bullshit thing to do to friends and loved ones.

  • You are a sociopath who writes fake stories.

  • This person writes all kinds of stories on here. They still haven't figured out the difference between a comma and a period, even though I've pointed it out to them several times now. Fake ass stories from a fake ass loser.

  • I agree (:

  • You wish it was fake, I want to watch my wife get f***** hard and i almost did.

  • Wanting, wishing, hoping and actually doing things - are all completely different!

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