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Animal abuser, don't know what to do
It's been a few months but I still have urges and it's hard. No-one seems to get it either, there are people that'll justify animal or child abuse until they're blue in the face and those that say abusers deserve to die, sometimes they're both.
Got turned down by psychiatrist because apparently I'm not messed up enough. Feel like I don't have anywhere to go, feel like I can't tell anyone.
I've got a disgusting secret and feel no-one will love me and I'll never deserve it.
Is anyone else like me?
Please dont hurt creatures.
Im sure creatures do care for you. Please do not hurt them.🐕🐴🐖🐥🐢
At least youre trying to deal with your problem the ones that dont turn into some jeffery dalmer nonsense
Even the ** grass communicates that its being destroyed to other grass that is what the fresh cut smell is
Practice having emapthy for ** put yourself in others shoes this includes even small animals they have a capacity to feel pain and emotion and this shouldnt surprise anyone we share most of our dna with everything.
Thank you guys so much for being understanding, it means a lot to me.
When it comes to our current dog it's been hitting, yanking her lead and intimidating her. I was a lot worse as a child and there were deaths...
Not planning on being dishonest.
I do not have kids, I mentioned kids because of the amount of people that justify "spanking" (hitting, abuse) and how hypocritical they can be when it comes to demonising others, though I was one of those people when it came to animal abuse.
I've been treating my problem as intrusive thoughts and destructive urges perhaps akin to drinking and smoking (though functionally it's not the same) and I've been journaling like no#2 mentioned, I've been practicing CBT methods where I write about my thoughts and actions and I'm glad there are people that agree that I need to find healthy coping mechanisms. I think the the common response of anti-abuse bloggers and mental health bloggers of "How to not abuse; stop being entitled, stop making everything about you, stop complaining" has proven very detrimental and has actually enabled me in the past.
I've had progression and regression before,but before I think just repressed,told myself never again,pretended everything was fine and didn't try to find healthy ways of behaving instead.I think its different this time.
Just to clarify, I am living with my parents and I think my mum legally owns our dog, I did try to convince my Mum not to buy her I haven't truthfully explained why but I'm scared. She did it without my and my Dad's consent and unfortunately this has also created a bit of resentment towards our dog from me.
I did admit to Mum a very long time ago back when I trusted her, it was a very, very long time ago when I was little, but she's also seen me hit animals and has come back to many mysterious injuries and deaths,and like...I told her I couldn't deal with a dog????
Truth be told I'm also a little scared of losing our dog, she loves me a lot and I think I learned a lot about being kind and patient from her, and I know a lot of people would treat her worse.
Is it sexual? Because I'm reading abuse as a blanket term. But there's support groups for this, of likeminded people who don't want to be like this. Unfortunately, if I'm correct in assuming... this is something you need to either hide or find an unspecific equivalent to bring to a medical professional. Even the sick and willing to seek help are treated terribly right now. If it's physical harm or violence, there are many anger management and sadistic tendency resources... I can't recommend any without knowing your location though.
What do you mean you got "turned down by a psychiatrist?" Go find a real one.
Saw GP, asked to be referred to phychiatrist, got assessed, got prescribed pills and given ** all else. Phoned the assessment center, got a condescending lecture about how "proffessional and highly trained" the assessor was.
Saw GP, asked to get referred to phsychiatrist, said I had to go through the assessment center.
I will try to find anything else I can,I'm in a country where public health is mainstream and private practices can be ridiculously expensive, and quack if you're not careful, since public health is mainstream we don't constantly have health insurance. Though if I did I think my health insurance payments would be racked up pretty high by now.
It also doesn't help that I feel humiliated and used, but I'll find something.
Good luck with that. That's about all psychiatrists and counseling are good for, being prescribed pills and condescended at. Best you can do is find someone who takes your issues seriously.