I'm an Idiot

I cheated on my boyfriend... My boyfriend is in the military and we hadn't been dating long before he got deployed. As soon as he left it was like there was a change in our relationship. He barely talked to me or even made the effort to. I'm not trying to justify what I did... rather trying to express how I felt. Anyways not long after I started receiving attention from an older man I had a long standing friendship with. Well we all know what happened next. The terrible thing was it wasn't just once, this went on for three months even when my boyfriend came back. I ended the... affair I guest you could say and he never found out about it. I feel like a terrible person and I feel like I deserve to. Nobody knows about this I feel like I can't even talk to my friends because I don't want them to judge me and ask how I could cheat on "the perfect guy". If I tell him he's definitely going to leave me and I don't want that I truly do realize how much I care about him but do I even deserve these feelings of happiness when I'm with him?

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  • I am an older woman and have never seen anything good coming from confessing about an affair to a friend or to the loved one. Keep quite and greet your boyfriend as a loving girlfriend should and he will be pleased.
    You have taken the correct action when you realized your mistake so leave it there.

  • Do not tell a soul. You have realized your mistake and have done the right thing. I am an older woman and know of what I say. No good will come of telling anyone especially your boyfriend. If you love him, keep quite and greet him with open arms and show him how lucky he is to have a loving girlfriend. You will gain nothing by telling him or anyone else. Best wishes. Hold you head high.

  • You are not a bad person. Actually you realized your mistake and have taken appropriate action. Hold you head high and do not tell a soul. If you tell anyone of your friends or your boyfriend you will regret it.
    It is in your past. Forget it.
    If you tell anyone you will be interrogated as to who and when that happens, it will be bad for you and the person you cheated with.
    I Am older and know of what I say to be true. those who confess live to regret it.
    Keep it to yourself and just make your boyfriend happy that he made it home and back to the one who loves him.

  • Don't take it so hard. We are all human and have needs and attractions. We all make mistakes. Just make sure you learn from your mistakes. And I agree with those who think some things are best left unsaid.

  • Cheating is never okay. And even though there can be a multiple of reasons why people choose to cheat (doesn't make it okay), there are also a multiple of reasons why people choose to stay and try to forgive. Truthfully, people can say what they would or wouldn't do, but no one is going to know how they are going to feel or what they are going to do until they are actually in that very situation. So everyone here can tell you what to do or what not to do, but it's you that has to deal with the outcome. You're not a terrible person, you did a terrible thing, but you're not a terrible person. If you're going to tell anyone, tell him or a therapist. This is really between you and him. If the situation was on the other foot and he had a 3 month affair with another girl..would you want to know? would you forgive? If telling him is going to free you of what you're feeling (and it most likely will), then you should. You have to own this. The reason why you cheated had nothing to do with him, it's you. It doesn't matter if he was or wasn't calling you everyday. That doesn't and shouldn't drive someone to cheat. That is your own insecurity. So if you do choose to tell him, keep in mind that you need to be fully accountable to your actions. And should you tell, there could be some really tough times ahead especially where trust is concerned. A break up could definitely happen. Really depends on the strength of your relationship. Get into couples counseling. If it is meant to be it will work out for the best. And you do deserve happiness, everyone does.

  • You are a terrible person. I think in life there are good people and bad people and lucky and unlucky. You are a bad person and your bf is unlucky. It is hard however to tell you what you should do. Telling him may destroy him honestly and destroy him for life and what you did he may never forget and it may totally change the direction of his life or potential it has and that he has. People who cheat don't think or either don't care about this but like I said your not a good person so why would you care. But telling him would let him know what happened and let him move on to find a good person and good women or decent gf at least. If he wanted a s*** he woulda just paid for one or went to some bar and got one. I'd say be honest and do it with as much gusto as you did the cheating, no hesitation, and be as honest in detail and explanation as you did when you were cheating. And then let him go because every day he is with you is waste of his time and a day out of his life truthfully. As for you..go find some drug addict or loser because that's the kind of guy you deserve or a guy whos a bad person.

  • W****.

  • You're just bogus, there's no other way to say it. Don't date people in active military service in the first place. I think its so dumb how all these dudes go to give their lives and inconsistent b****** like you always gotta have some kind of excuse, if you feel bad now you should've felt bad before you even began to f*** that dude.

  • You should tell him. Don't say im crazy but it will bring you guys closer together

  • That would end it all. Don't be stupid.

  • Truly, there are some things better left unsaid. You made a mistake at a time when you were vulnerable, but you ended the affair. Nothing would be gained by telling your boyfriend, or even your friends. This is a secret you should take to your grave with you. First, however, you absolutley MUST forgive yourself. It certainly sounds like you have learned from this mistake and it's not likely you will ever repeat it. I wish you well ... just stop beating yourself up about it and enjoy your new perspective on your relationship with your boyfriend. Yes, we all deserve happiness!

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