I might just give up

As an older daughter I'm expected to work like a single mother. Even though I've never been married, and still a virgin. However, I work like a single mother and it's still not enough for my family. I do everything for them, for myself, and they still drain all of my positive energy because it will never be enough for them. I'm actually planning on taking a different road after completing my Bachelors. Jealousy, possessiveness, maltreatment, manipulation, and emotional blackmailing is draining my energy. Few more months and I might just end up making one of the major decisions of my life. I've never imagined to expect myself in this position before, but it's unfair to me and no one notices it. I do so much, so much, that it's never noticed just because they refuse to see. If this isn't making me happy then it's not the right decision for me to continue. Due to financial crisis I'm dependent. Apparently, you can't survive without having money in your bank account. I can't continue to place others above me all the time. I believe it is really the time to do something about my future. I only had a dream, and it was to making my loved ones lives better if I work hard. It seems like they don't want to see my real intentions. I was so reaching out to my aims, and they were so related to them. I don't even ask anything for myself, but for them. Why am I being unnoticed even though I'm there doing everything in front of them? My heart is literally breaking because all these years I've done everything to create healthy relationship bond with them, but it seems like they never want that happening. They always end up ruining everything. How can someone like me (who does everything for everyone) can ever be a burden to someone? I lift all your burdens on my shoulders, then why are they keep on piling up more burdens on my shoulders?

Just because I don't tell them about doing things for them doesn't mean I don't care at all. I've done so much, just so much that even if I tell them they won't believe me. My selflessness is unnoticed and I can't wait for the day when they realize my existence, my value, and my worth in their lives until I physically, and emotionally detach myself from them. I know I'm capable for doing a lot in life. I have the potential to do a lot in life, but I'm not going to be explaining myself to anyone. My response will always be "silence" in return. After few months either I end up throwing away all the burden on my shoulders, or they come along and help me out.

I'm tired and have almost reached at the end of this cycle.

3 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • Your family sounds like a bunch of uptight a*******! Burn the house down with them in it!

  • You go girl, choose your own destiny. Don't wait too long, step out of it without scars if you still can, so you don't have to destroy the relationship completely once you finally make a decision in anger and hate.

  • I'm not making rash decisions or decisions in aggression. I'm doing this for my future. I want a secure future. It can't happen through a violent atmosphere. In fact, it'll ruin my mental health and I'm not letting that happen what so ever. Hopefully I find a way to move out in a place where no on has an idea of.

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?