I Hate My Stepdad

(WARNING: THIS CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE! IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE, DO NOT READ. THANK YOU.)

I hate my stepdad so much. He is the worst person I have ever met. My name is Kierstin, I'm 14 years old and about to turn 15. When I was 2, my mom and dad seperated and me and my two sisters lived with my mom for 8 years. When I was 11, my mom started dating. She married him 2-3 months later and we all moved in together February 2014. My stepdad and his daughter who was 6, and is 10 now. The first year, everything was perfectly fine. He didn't bother me, he was nice and cool with us. The second year, boy did things escalate quick. He turned into the meanest guy ever. He would yell at me and my sisters for no reason, he abused his daughter, he drinks wayyy too much, he doesn't make enough money to even pay the rent of our house, he hits me and pushes me, and one time he closed my arm in a door. When I was 12 I was too scared to talk back to him or defend myself so I just let it go. But now I don't give crap about if I get in trouble or what, I'll punch that a****** into a alternate universe idfc. All he is is a fat, lazy, uneducated alcoholic who sits around all day, does NOTHING with his life but torture us, 51 year old man. Every single one of my friends hate to cross him. I've dealt with depression and anxiety a year after we moved into that house. I've felt worthless, helpless, like life wasn't even worth living and I still feel that way. I cried nonstop and I was always so unhappy. What really pushed me off the edge was when 6 months ago, my mom planned to FINALLY move away from that a******. Me and my sisters were so excited. 6 months later, we decided to pack up our stuff. We spent 8:30pm - 2:30pm (that's when he works) packing up our things. Once we finally got in the Uhaul truck, we drove away. I thought from there we could start new lives, be stress-free and peaceful without my stepdad.. BUT NO. I WAS WRONG. A few hours passed and my stepdad got home from work at around 7:40am. He called my mom at 8am and he was bawling his eyes out. He knew that we were gone for good and that we weren't coming back. He was begging and pleading for her to come back. Me and my sisters were warning her not to go back to him but she couldn't help but feel sorry and guilty. In my mind I was like, "she's not gonna go back, we went through all this." I was wrong again. She told us that she wanted to go back. At this point I really wanted to die. In my mind I was thinking, not only did we bust our a**** off loading the biggest uhaul truck that was available and have to unload all that s*** again, but we have to go all the way back there which is 4 whole hours away and deal with his bullshit again. Me and my sisters were crying so hard I stg, my eyes were so f****** puffy I couldn't even see. My eyes were bloodshot red too. I felt like trash, I looked like trash, I wanted to smash everything that came close to me. And to be honest, all the built up anger REALLY got to me. I felt like a different person, I felt so much less powerful and so much more angry that I actually wanted to hurt somebody. I'm a sweet girl and I would never ever think about hurting anyone in a mean way, but I actually wanted to punch someone. My mom tends to think about only her and my stepdad, not about the kids that she gave birth to. In my opinion, she was clueless when she married him and she still is, nothing has changed. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom more than anything in the whole world and I'm the end I only wanted happiness for all of us, but she's driving us all the way back to h***. My mom planned to get a new house with my stepdad. But the good thing is, in 2-3 years I'm leaving for college and I'm never going back once I'm gone. I may visit my mom but not when that fat lard is there. Idk. The worst part is, my sisters are leaving for college soon and I'll be left with my stepdad, his daughter (whom I dislike) and my mom. I'll have no one but them and that thought of living with that excuse for a man and dealing with his bullshit on my own makes me nauseous. But anyway, maybe something will happen and my mom will get a divorce for good. Or maybe they'll stay married. Either way, in a few years I'll never have to look that a****** in the eye ever again 😘😘😂!!!! But I am tired of suffering from my mom's bad decisions and I will definitely be so much more happier when I don't have to deal with him ever again. I believe everything happens for a reason and wherever god leads me, I'll follow that path to a better life.

EDIT: SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!! I just really had to get this off my chest. Let me know if you have any advice for me :)

"Taking a bigger step."
-Kierstin

4 Comments

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  • I really feel sorry for you. Such a heavy thing to lay on a kid. I hope you find a joyful life and someone to share it with.

  • I do feel for you and your situation. Kids should never have to endure such unnecessary things as life gives us enough to handle. Take it one day at a time until you can escape. That's what I called it when I was growing up hiding out in my room and staying clear of my angry dad who solved everything with yelling and beatings. I couldn't call the cops for help, he was a cop and those were his friends and partners.

  • A lot to handle when you're young, but seems like you have a good plan. When you're dealing with a problem it's hard to look at things from an objective standpoint. It doesn't lessen the pain the situation causes, but sometimes gives you perspective on the motivations behind everyone's actions. Like your mom. Maybe she married this guy so fast because she was afraid to be by herself. Maybe all of her life she's been one of those women who doesn't know what independence is without a man involved. So she jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend to husband to husband. It's sad, but that's who she is. That's what she knows. Maybe someday she'll figure it out and leave your stepdad. As for your stepdad, maybe meeting the pressures of a blended family was too much and drove him to drink. Or maybe he's always had a drinking and control problems, but hid them well for the first couple of years. IDK.. sometimes I'd like to think there is a good person behind the disease of alcoholism. Or he just knows what he knows because of what he learned from his parents. Not saying that is okay. But you have a person who will never get help. What about your dad? Where is he in all of this? Can you go to live with him? Any extended family in the area? Grandparents? Aunts? Uncles? etc.. just so you can finish out the year? A close friend that maybe their family will take you in? Your safety is a priority. Make sure that you and your sister are safe. Keep your grades up and look for scholarships and then plan as you say to get as far away as possible. Sorry this is happening to you. There are brighter days ahead.

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