I'm Uncomfortable around other women

It all made sense today. I've always found other women difficult to relate to, to be around and to be myself around. I have 3 brothers. I'm a middle child. I'm also a single parent (my son is 16). Being around so much 'maleness' growing up, from what we watched on TV to how we ate to where we used to hang out, and the activities we used to do, made me comfortable around boys and men. I could argue like a guy - which was actually not very often as I realised very quickly that guys seemed to talk it out - albeit, sometimes aggressively - but genuinely got things sorted. I could be myself, I could talk openly about stuff, I could just be. However, after starting an all girls high school (my mother felt I needed female friends) I discovered very quickly that girls were not to be trusted! The back-biting, the b*******, the two-facedness, the secrecy and power plays, the constant arguing and under-handedness... I had to always be on. Always watching my back, watching what I said or how I said it to the point of insanity. It was too much and too confusing for me. It made me depressed.

Fast forward to my adult years and I begin to seek work in environments where I can be around guys, but not really knowing why. Honestly, I just wanted the freedom to just get on with s*** and do what I love without the stress. However, I couldn't completely avoid women in the work place, and was always quickly reminded why I wished I could.

Fast forward a few more years to today, and I'm confronted by the office b****, who seemingly just needs a hug! She spends all her valuable energy trying to get noticed one way or another. I stand there listening to her condescending tone and back-handed compliments (she's trying to sound cute, looking highly stressed while being weirdly aggressive, and smiling all at the same time. It's some creep s***!) and I think "S***! This is it. That feeling of complete confusion, I'm thinking, why not just say what you mean rather than coming at me sideways. I've seen this from girls/women time and time again.

The funny thing is my best friend who I met in grad school is female, has 2 brothers. She, like me, can't be around other women. We've talked about it before, but I never really applied it to how I interact with women on a daily basis.

I'm looking into moving to another department at work. I happen to go to lunch with the guys from the graphics team and even as an introvert, I love meeting up with them (briefly!) for drinks. When I have to be in their department for a period of time, I'm at ease, I feel energised and I'm not on edge.

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  • I'm similar :) I have 3 brothers and no sisters.

    I prefer to engage in conversations with men and interact with men only.
    The only women I interact with, is my partners mother (I don't have a choice) my future sister-in-law (yet again, I don't have a choice) and my mother which is fine, because I love her.

    I'm also seeking employment in a male dominated field and I'm looking forward to it :) However, there are a**** in both genders and sometimes it's more of an individual thing as opposed to be gender related. But my preference is, still interacting with men more.

  • Yes, you're right! There are arseholes on both sides, but I find the arseholes of the male persuasion to be a little more... straightforward! :-) A lot less fake to deal with.

    It's the all out fakery I can't stand when it comes to dealing with women.

  • I find it funny you seem to think you don't add to it.

  • And why should she?

  • Lol I totally agree with you! At least men are less conniving and manipulative with their arseholery :-)

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