I hate talking about how I'm doing at school with anyone. My parents push me all of the time to do well in school, my mother sets up study timetables for the entire year wih me. I'm not doing as well I should be doing, and I hate talking about how I'm doing. Whenever I talk about it with my parents, even if they are saying that I'm doing well, I feel sick. I get a lump in my throat and start to want to cry, I just want to leave and not talk about it.

Oct 14, 2017

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  • I understand completely, because I've experienced it myself. Your parents mean well -- truly they do -- but what they don't understand is that they are creating an intense performance anxiety for you. They are overdoing it, but convincing them of that will, I'm afraid, be either unproductive or counterproductive. You sound like you're solid and stable, and very intelligent and motivated, but they won't understand that you don't need to be driven: you're driving yourself. If you don't feel comfortable talking to them about this, you may just have to develop the ability to let them do what they do without allowing them to distract you from your goal. I'm not telling you to ignore them, but simply to be strong enough to permit their oversight without interfering with your own efforts, which are working. I wish you the best.

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