Mean Comments

I've been helping a friend who recently moved back to my area for mental health treatment. We've known each other for a few years now and she's in a difficult time right now so I want to help her. I've helped her find an apartment, furniture, let her stay at my home, doing my best to help her when she has anxiety, and staying up with her when she can't sleep. It's hard though, I'm also going through treatment for my physical health and mental well being so I don't want her to feel like she's alone in this. She can be really nice and she helps me around the house sometimes. But there have been times when shes been passive aggressive, or just been really mean. It's rarely directly at me, usually she'll say something about me to my husband. At one point my marriage was in a rough patch and she told my husband maybe I wanted him to hit me. Another time she said my problems are not as serious as hers and I shouldn't act like it. Then last night we were watching a movie she wanted to watch with a women being assaulted and I started to feel a lot of anxiety and my husband suggested we watch something else. We picked something else and I left for a few minutes to calm down. My husband tried to apologize to her and explained why I couldn't watch it. But she was mad, saying that she's been assaulted before and it wasn't a big deal. Then said I guess we just handle our assaults differently and blew him off. I don't pretend to know exactly what she's going through, I will never act like I know how she feels. But she makes me feel belittled, like my problems don't matter, and that when I'm scared I'm being childish. Like I'm beneath her. I know this is long, I just feel angry and hurt. I've done everything I can to help her, but I feel like I don't mean anything to her.

Today's Best Amazon Deals
Get A Jump On Black Friday With Amazon's Pre-Black Friday Deals
ConfessionPost may receive a commission
See All The Amazon Deals

10 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • Gawd the list of clichés here are almost endless. You knew what you were getting into before etc...., you bit off more than you can chew, No good deed goes unpunished, however the most applicable & factual is : "There's a n_i_gg_e_r in the woodpile".

  • ZTiHI
    01Rq
    k6e8
    98hu
    xznP
    J2rDj
    5i4bK
    9J1cG
    V4TJV
    lSNpr
    fQJFf
    4hxj9
    IFMa
    Kqpp
    IDGu
    wmS
    a6dK
    ZZiQS
    P18F
    TuVE
    BaPN
    hj7p5
    8hVd
    o1o5
    XjaPs
    tutjW
    fhdkH
    2PY7
    C2Kr5
    nVBZ
    emrh
    8Ax9
    7hoQ
    5UW
    5WzZ
    zcB2
    NyaU
    PTZR
    ngZb
    B2rU
    RtlpB
    56de
    GHhb
    rGR3
    iMnD
    rLH2d
    dfkQ
    8OhII
    c4xD
    gc1ij
    Pwm
    ko0Q
    tNrFw
    u6kA
    n1xw
    iFIAy
    y1Tm
    mDyg
    u9kR
    c2Tjh
    m3Us
    ItmcX
    IKU2x
    B5c8
    ekPK
    kOwG
    xfN9K
    ezviT
    UsC2
    3Wco
    pWcV
    P3Ciy
    AvZl4
    DrpK
    n4jLm
    TOHh
    U7eO
    X2Mz
    1BQ2
    REXy
    ma8f
    QsAu
    938zR
    6zxEP
    I6y5y
    Z02L
    5ctVY
    iTRHy
    MAL4
    YJwR
    t5Hth
    OsT1
    rvfSz
    rDh5y
    auY9
    RttH5
    7INN
    iwQs
    iAGo
    eQ1m
    1oB5
    Th1P
    kY1rV
    kcq1k
    4EO1
    c8Lj9
    B4zw
    mLw
    rsXk0
    oRp8
    WIxs
    B7XT
    NQbd
    fBnr3
    VpEV
    TMw
    p0Vtg
    4sr06
    BLrm
    esB5I
    zhuia
    eEA3
    jsMd
    UL9y
    S6zKf
    tU6Lx
    Epaq
    n4Vk
    gQrP
    0ErR3
    u6IXI
    aBUj
    Up80
    hDLO
    sZQY
    tMstz
    p5EC
    2DUH
    7C0q
    NAI1
    xRfm
    hGRjL
    uTMH
    pwdH
    f9ijS
    W5C
    8rgIP
    e
    TwgC
    CMYI
    10 days ago Report 1 Reply

  • Just kick her out an go on with your life.

  • I went through this when out of the blue I get a text from my exwife saying she was getting evicted from her apartment , her live in boyfriend had moved out and she had lost her job. I paid her back rent so she could stay in her apartment, then found out she was abusing Xanex, which was prescribed .She was battling depression to the point of not getting out of bed all day and wasn't eating , had lost 30 pounds, she only weighed 94lbs at this point. It was a long battle to get her into a hospital to get her the help she needed with her family refusing to help at all. After a year of paying all her bills , getting her help with her mental health and even fixing her car so she could go back to work, once she was back on her feet she blamed me for all her issues.Even bringing up things that happened twenty years ago that I hadn't even remembered and still don't know if they were just made up in her head. Long story short we haven't talked in three years, last month she texted me this long text about her medical problems and that she lost her job, how she has no one to turn to and really misses talking to me. I found out she is going through the same mental problems again as well. It was hard to ignore her text as we have a child together and I don't like that he has to see his mother in this situation but I can't go through this with her again. It effected me mentally and was physically draining and cost me thousands of dollars as well as my relationship with my then girlfriend. To the OP, you need to get her out of your house . You won't be able to deal with your issues while trying to heal her . She will s**** with anything that makes you happy including your marriage she needs tough love at this point , get her out you have done enough.

  • Kill your friend.

  • Okay, you've been transparent enough here honey. You knew when you committed yourself that this might be a long haul & it appears it will be. Look, you're doing everything as correct as possible to this point. It's just a question of how long this may or will strain your marriage. Discuss with your spouse often how it affecting your relationship/marriage. You will determine together when & how to handle her as or if is affecting your spousal relationship. DO NOT permit this gal & her mental issues erode your marriage. It's key that you stay ahead of it for that reason alone. True, it satisfies you to help a gal in need however the forever commitment you made to your spouse will remain your fundamental priority. Enough stated ; I know you comprehend.

  • It's time for her to go. It's not healthy for anyone at this point.

  • She's ruining your home life, relationship with your husband and shed exasperating your poor health. If you located and arranged a new home for her, why isn't she living there already? No offense, but your so-called friend is an emotional, psychological and physical drain on you. You need to focus on yourself and stop enabling her, you won't get any thanks for it in the future! H***, you aren't getting any now, not that you appear to be helping her, for those reasons. However, genuine actions and gestures of appreciation, would be nice for you to receive from her.

  • ^Agreed. Helping someone is great and kind of you. And I'm sure your friend appreciates it so much, but may not be able to properly tell you. Do not let your kindness get trampled on. It's okay to have boundaries and be clear with your friend exactly what those are. It's okay to say no to her or tell her that what she said or what she is doing is not okay. You are not beneath her or above her. You are a friend who is doing her best to help her. And you have your own life, family, feelings, health and happiness to maintain. And also with helping her, try not to keep score. I have a friend who was diagnosed with bipolar with hallucinations later in life (her 30's) and it was so challenging. It's a different situation then what you're going through. But I get how you want to help and how you feel a bit empty at the end of the day. I agree with the commenter above - It may be time for your friend to go to the house that you have set up for her. It time for the both of you. And instead of letting your friend stay with you, maybe you can arrange to just meet up with her at her new place or out in public. She needs to continue to see her doctor and you need to figure out how to be her friend without feeling compromised.

  • She’s a j*** kick her out

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?