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Alex
I know the situation we are in is complicated... but if things were different. If we had met each other first... would we be able to admit our feelings towards each other? I know you feel it too. At the very least, I know you can feel what I'm letting off. Whenever we are in the same room there is tension. Nerves. It's hard to breathe and my heart thumps hard. fast. It's been a long time since I've felt this way. Like a teenager. We are abnormally aware of each other, being sure to never make eye contact for longer than a few seconds, in case someone might notice. In case we might let on the forbidden -- that we were interested in each other. But I noticed from the corner of my eye when you would blatantly stare at me, especially when no one was around. I'm sure you noticed when I'd steal glances at you too. I noticed the way you'd lean towards me, and I was aware that I was doing the same, to which I would quickly change my position. We didn't speak much, but when we did, it felt like a secret exchange. We looked into each other's eyes longer than we should have. Before giving an answer, we'd be lost in each other's eyes before finding our words. You'd look at me for a response whenever you made a joke or made a general statement to the group. We'd ask or discuss the smallest things, just to speak to each other... And we just HAD to be in the same space at the same time, didn't we? Whenever I needed a ride, you were the first to offer. When I heard you come back from your errands, I immediately made my way back to where you are. You stayed until it was time for everyone to leave. I wouldn't be thinking of you this way if it wasn't the same. I wouldn't be dreaming of you... but I am. Circumstances make it so we can't be together. We will never be together. That should be enough for me to let all of this go. And so with this post, I do. All my feelings are out there. I was interested. I like you. I can't stop thinking of you... and all of that must die so no one gets hurt. Take care. From M
Lol "I know you feel, what I'm letting off!" Sounds likes a ** to me!