Boy in a Woman's Bikini

Recently my parents revealed to my brother and I that we are going on a tropical vacation for a week during the cold Winter months. My Mom gave my brother and I money and told us to go by some new swim trunks for ourselves.
I am a boy, skinny, about 5'7" tall, 14 years old. Anyway, I think I am attracted to women. I'm pretty sure I am! Anyway, recently I was looking at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit catalog and admiring the beautiful women in their bikinis in the magazine but for some reason, I don't know why, but for some strange reason, I was putting myself in their place. I was imagining what it would be like if I was wearing a beautiful bathing suit like they were. I was imagining some teenage boy flipping through the catalog and seeing me in a bikini like the other women and admiring how I looked. Anyway, my brain drifted into fantasy. I clearly had to accept this reality that I have a ** that could be seen through my bikini bottom, and no ** to wear a bra. But I started thinking, what if? What if?
Anyway, my head was in a daze for several days after staring at that magazine. So, when my brother and I went to the Mall to buy our boring boy swim trunks, we both went to one store. Being teens, we separated for a little bit. He is only a year younger than me, and at 13, he is completely capable of being alone in the Mall. Anyway, I lied to him and told him I was going to the music store to check out some cds and he said he would go to the video game store.
Anyway, once he was out of sight, I made a beeline to a store that sells women's bathing suits. I didn't understand my fascination. When I went in, I thought the saleswoman would be annoyed...a perverted teenage boy making trouble in a place that sells women's swimsuits! I was wrong! She was super friendly and nice. I told her about my upcoming tropical vacation this Winter and she helped me look through all kinds of bikinis like it was no big deal. I finally told her my concern about my private part sticking through the bottom and having no **. She actually had an answer! She found me a lovely bikini top that had inserts built in where I can insert special foam padding to make it look like I have **. She also showed me a website that talked about a method of "tucking" my ** down between my legs. She even had the foam padding and a small plastic device the I can wear in my bikini bottoms that would hold my ** back in place so no one could see it. I was so pumped up! I can't believe what happened next! I bought it!
When I met up with my brother later, I hid the bag in another bag of a different store I went to and told him I just bought regular swim trunks. Once I got the bikini home, I tried it on and put the foam padding in my bra as well as tucked my private part back and held it in place with the plastic thing. I stood in front of a mirror and it looked AMAZING! It is pretty pink with a floral pattern on it. I also liked how I looked in it. I just need to shave my legs and pits and I'll look good. That's when reality hit me! I'm going with my family! They're going to see me. What should I do? I'm super embarrassed. Anyway, now I am stuck with this bikini I may never be able to wear and if I do, I'll be judged.

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