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I'm going crazy
I was pretty good years ago managing my OCD and being assertive. The last two years, easy access to weed, losing my job and family issues... and self esteem deterioration has got me feeling like I'm not the same person anymore.
A girl got me motivated to make healthier choices... I wanted her to be proud of me and wanted her to adore me the way I adored her.
I just need to let this out. What is next... I will need to exam my options and figure which approach will help me coup with my issues and get back into the system.
The system... makes me sad... It's like it has lost it's humanity, one debt at a time... While I do not have monetary debt, I feel being in the system has given me a debt of my soul to someone/something else that doesn't even know I exist.
If your past lifestyle makes you sad then it's a sign you shouldn't go back to it at all.
You don't read so well, do you?