My sister is ruining my life

I hate my sister. I am 23. She is 21.
All my life she has tormented me. Making fun of me. I almost never had any friends. I was always alone. If I made a friend, my sister was there to turn them away from me.
She always made fun of me for everything I ever did. Just how I look. Stealing from me. Hitting me. Gaslighting me. She has been violent since she was a preteen but always got away with everything.
She used to be pretty close to my dad's now ex gf. That was until she stopped buying her everything she asked for. I have seen my sister push her down the stairs, hitting her head on the cement and taken away in an ambulance.
It has gotten only worse now that she is an adult. My father always wanted to pretend nothing was wrong. He did not care as long as she was not screaming at or attacking him. She got away with it so she made me her main target. She is just a terrible person. If you are not a a straight Christian, you deserve death. I quadruple deserve death according to her hateful logic.
She comes up with ANY reason to be p***** at me. I accidentally leave one of my prescription bottles on the table, UNACCEPTABLE. Our kitchen table and counters, the front room, the basement laundry area, and our shared bathroom are all FULL of her stuff.
When she is p***** at me, she tries to attack me. It always leads to her chasing me into my room, which is the safest place for me. She will try to force my lock open with a knife and break my door down. She screams at me. She insults me. I could never even tell you how many times she has told me I am a f****** failure and just EVERYTHING else a person could come up with.
She caused me to f****** leave my nursing program. I wanted to be a nurse. It all became too much for me to handle one year, with just how hard school was and how terrible she was to me. I had to retake one specific class. I tried hard but she would not leave me alone and I had no option but to leave the program or start over from the beginning, so I changed my major to psychology. I still feel like a f****** failure every time I think about how I had to leave the opportunity to do the job I always wanted to do.
We live with our dad. My step mom literally moved to their house they were fixing up for their retirement because my sister is so terrible.
I cannot afford to move out. I am full-time in school. I work at McFucks because I was desperate for money. Their pay is bullshit. Along with school and work, I am doing a massive internship required for my graduation. I am broke as h*** because I can only work two days, seven hours each, per week. I would work 8 but I have plantar fasciitis, and it causes me massive pain, which McFucks gives zero f**** about, as does some of my family.
My father just tells me to lose weight. My legs are literally not straight. Weight loss will not change the shape of my f***** up bones. I cannot walk on my feet properly since at my ankles, my feet angle inwards due to the shape of my bones. My skinny brother has the same issue and clearly his weight is no issue. My reasoning for the being overweight is my hypothyroidism, insulin resistance, and possible PCOS that I am now treating, now that I have discovered them, but my father and sister still tell me JUST LOSE WEIGHT. It f****** sucks. They ignore all my pain cause WEIGHT.
It is nearly 1am and the latest s*** started about 2 hours ago. Trying to read 100 pages and write 1100 words and take an online test, my sister demanded I answer all her questions about why I sighed when she told me to do the dishes. She always tells me. I have told her to stop telling me because I KNOW. Too many times I have had to tell her I am NOT cleaning my cats' s*** box until after I ate and brushed my teeth. I told her that she needs to stop telling me and I started walking away. I saw her face get bright red. She threw the blanked wrapped around her off and came charging at me, screaming. I had to come into my room. She did all her usual. Screaming. Insulting. I have been told to kill myself so many times. Body slamming my door. She kept coming back. She eventually threatened to hurt my cat if I did not let her in. Eventually my cat came to my door and I cracked it open for her to get in, holding my knife. The cat is with me now. If she ever touched my cat I would f****** burn her alive as I sliced her throat open. My cats are my children.
I called my father and he literally told me to deal with it and hung up on me. He ignored my calls. I kept texting him and eventually he said he was coming home. He is home now and in his room, sleeping. The entire time she was not screaming she was going back and forth past my room. She wanted me to know she was there.

Honestly, I cannot even tell you in these typed words how awful it all it is. I really cannot. Being told you are useless s*** your whole life and you should kill yourself/be locked up will f****** get to you. I have no idea what i did to deserve this h***.
I do not know what to do. I used to talk to my school's therapist, but I literally cannot fit it into my schedule. My sister-in-law thinks I have autism and depression. All I know is that something is not right. I see things that are not really there. It has kind of become normal to me. I know they are not real though, except one thing I saw I honestly do not know if it was real or not. Everything just sucks now. I love playing video games but I have not played in many, many months. I love reading books but I have been on the same book for over a year now. My SIL and brother are my only friends, and I can only see them sometimes because they have lives and I do not want to disturb them too much. I have been barely sleeping at all due to just how busy my life is right now. I have one class this summer and one in the fall and I am done with college. I love my internship. I care for pre-kindergarteners for disadvantaged families at a facility known for helping people with disabilities. I want to apply when I finish, which will get me out of McFucks.
I just do not know how I am going to handle it. I live terrified in my own f****** house. I just want this h*** to end. I want her to leave me alone so I can just f****** finish school. Why is it so much to ask for?
If anybody recognizes similarities in between this post and another rant about Christmas bullshit with b**** sister, this is the same person. The h*** continues.

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2 Comments

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  • Grow a backbone and call the cops on your sister. Find a better job save money get the f*** out of there.

  • Have called the cops. Almost got arrested me cause they told me to f****** deal with it. Been applying everywhere. Constantly.

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