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Mending family relationships
I am caring and sensitive, yet stubborn... I've never had the best relationships with my parents. My mom has a lot of narcissistic traits, which is understandable after everything she has been through. My step-dad can be very manipulative when he wants to be and it's hard to trust him... but at the end of the day, they are my parents. I fell out with my mom at the beginning of this year. I was sick and she was nagging me, assuming the worst while ignoring my condition. It was a bad time. My stepdad was in the hospital for open-heart surgery so we were all under a lot of stress. I went off on her and told her I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't even wish her happy birthday, I was so mad... but now that the anger has subsided, and I'm going through hard times, I'm realizing I need my parents. Not even for support, because they have never even been good at that, but just to be on good terms with them. My step-dad and I have been through a lot of rough patches, but the truth is he really has gone out of his way for me at times when he didn't have to. He could have easily ignored my existence as so many step-parents do, but instead, he took on a fatherly role, even if it wasn't one I always agreed to... He's aged so much in these past months. I haven't talked to them in so long despite living under the same roof as them and it's crazy to see how old he looks, compared to when I last talked to him (which was a few months ago). I really want to bury the hatchet and show them what they mean to me. At least my step-dad... he deserves better. My mom is cold-hearted and I think I'd be better off without her honestly. Regardless, I wish I knew where to start. My fear of rejection is keeping me from reaching out to them. It's eating at me.
Hey, it's good that you have empathy for your parents, even if your mom especially is so difficult. I hope you figure stuff out. I advisecyou to find a good therapist you can trust, and work thru things with them. If I'd opened up in the therapy i had long ago i bet i'd be much happier with myself and others today. You didn't say how old you are, but it becomes harder and harder to change as you get older, as patterns just get ingrained deeper. I wish you the best.
Find me daddy im you son. i love you daddy.
Start with your step-dad first.