It's either me, or them
Sometimes I'll pray asking God to either take me away and bring me back home, or to bring my parents back home. I just can't stand living with them any more. Day in and day out I get screamed at, called worthless, told how much they don't love me, and get called the worst things imaginable. I know words are just words, but try living this way for 17 years. Last year I considered suicide. My parents found out from a pastor who was concerned. Instead of trying to help me my mom laughed; and then called me a psychotic, sociopathic, b****. When I lost weight my mom started calling me f***** and laughed hysterically at me whenever I would eat any food saying what a pig I am. If it was healthy she would make a snide comment about how a salad wasn't going to help me. She also would tell everyone my "weight". She claimed I was well over 200 when really I'm about 150 and she's about 70 pounds more than me. A guy from work started giving me rides home, and I really like him. We've gone out a few times. Instead of my parents being happy for me finding a great guy, they always ask what lies I told him to get a guy like him to be with me. They also claim he must be a drug addict and constantly stoned in order to put up with my face. Many times I've been hit and slammed into walls or grabbed by the neck of my shirt for no reason. My step-dad has even spit on me. Later when the bruises show up if I say it's from them they call me a liar and say they'd never hit me. If I say I fell, they blame it on the guy I've been with. He would never do something like this though. My step-dad's also a cop and said the next time he finds a bruise he's reporting the guy and taking him to court. It doesn't help that they dislike him...alot. He knows all about the damage they've done to me, and because of that whenever he's around my parents he usually doesn't say much. He has a bit of a mouth on him and doesn't want to get started saying stuff he shouldn't be. I'm terrified that if my step-dad actually takes him to court for something he didn't do that his future would be ruined. I'm also afraid that he'll leave me right away since I'm not worth the trouble.
I feel like they're ruining my life. Last night my mom even said she's kicking me out the day I turn 18. I'm fine with this since I don't plan on staying anyway, but when I said I was fine with that my mom started saying how heartless I am. Everyone else always says I'm the sweetest person they know. It's a constant internal struggle with them. Honestly I don't know how much longer I can put up with this. I still have an entire year, and it gets worse by the week. If God ever answers one prayer, I hope it's this one.