I want to kill my stepfather and mother...

At first, it was just verbal abuse. Then it got physical. The police found over 20 bruises all over my body from him. But they still couldn't put him in prison because my mother didn't even go to court. She didn't even TRY to go. So, he was released and I took the beating I was given after. Then mum and my stepdad broke up. I was like "Finally, no more pain!". Then my mother asked me " Do you really hate him that much? Just remember you always come before him." I remember scoffing and saying "I want him dead." But she got back together with him. That's why I hate her. Next thing I know, he breaks down my f****** door and starts punching through the walls and breaking stuff. He took my iPhone 6+ and bent it in half with his kneecap! He hit my mum around the head with a glass and that's when I screamed at him. He turned around, grabbed the TV of off my wall and threw it at me. I ducked and luckily it didn't hit me. So, then he run off outside. Me and my mum crying and bleeding. Luckily, just as my stepdad broke my phone I screamed "Help!" and I was on the phone to my godmother. She heard it, called the police and drove down with all of my family. They had metal golf clubs, knuckle dusters and baseball bats. I didn't eat, drink, talk or go to school for a week. And when I did, I didn't do it much. Now, I have to go to therapy and take tests for my depression and childhood trauma. Just to make sure I don't kill myself. I cut, though. Like they say, the physical pain takes away the emotional pain. What a f***** up life I have, right?

Feb 23, 2018

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  • I know exactly what it's like growing up with a physical and verbal abuser. What it's like going to school dirty and bruised up and too scared to talk to anyone-- for years on end. No one ever cared or intervened. And yet I still never felt the need to cut, because even back then I knew that that's effing stupid!

    Every teenager story I read that involves cutting makes me laugh, because you pathetic little fools will use **any** excuse to do it, from abuse at home to just feeling sad (oh no! Worst thing ever!!). Since I could be abused or ignored by everyone I knew and not use that as an excuse to carve big attention-grabbing scars into myself, you self-centered little snowflakes are beneath my compassion. Dig in there until the blood comes out in rhythmic spurts, because you aren't strong enough to survive in this world. It does NOT automatically "get better", and you get less and less attention for having a sad the older you get. So either choose health over attention or hit an artery, because that's what you've got to work with.

    There's some of that "real talk" you fragile flowers claim to love so much but can never actually deal with. You are f ucking welcome.

  • My father was like that. There was no help for me as he was a high up in the Sheriff's Dept. I just had to survive him until I could legally escape him. I had no where to go but I had a sleeping bag. Sleeping in cars and behind bldgs was a lot better than being near him.

  • Im glad someone knows how i feel. Thanks for the response.

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