Losing Fights in Front of Girls

I think the most embarrassing thing on earth for a guy is to lose a fight in front of a girl or group of girls. if they know you it's even worse. And if one of the girls you lose in front of is your girlfriend, then that is the ultimate embarrassment.
I've been in several fights in my life, and every time I have lost there has been girls there watching. It stays with you for all your life. The first time I lost a fight was when I was very young; about twelve. I was walking home from school with a girl I knew. Her name was Janice. She lived close to me, and we often walked home together. Anyhow, this one time another boy was with a girl walking towards us. I didn't think of anything of it, but when they got right next to us the boy shoved me and asked if I wanted to fight. So I did. I grabbed on to him to wrestle him to the ground, and he grabbed on to me. We were at the top of a hill, and as we began to wrestle about, he sort of flipped me onto the ground. At the same time, the momentum made me start rolling down the hill. And because I was holding onto him, he rolled down too.
It wasn't a huge hill, and so we were at the bottom within about ten seconds. When we got to the bottom, I tried standing up to continue the fight. The two girls came running down the hill to see who would win and to get a good view of the fight. When I managed to get up, the girls were just getting to the bottom of the hill. From there, the other boy started to pound my chest and belly. After about five punches I fell to the ground and told him I had enough. That was all he wanted to hear, and so he left with the girl he was with. And I was left to go home with Janice.
We climbed the hill and walked home. I wanted to hold my belly and groan, but I didn't. Not until I got home. In the meantime, the walk home with Janice was the longest walk home of all time. Nothing at all was said. Just a "bye" when we got to the point where she went into her house.
I went home and all night felt embarrassment for losing in front of her. The next day as school a friend of hers came up to me and said, "I heard you got beat up yesterday." I just nodded and quickly walked away. Janice told all her friends about it. I avoided Janice for several days. Then one day after school she asked if I was going home and if she could walk with me. What could I do? I walked her home. When we got to the hill where I got beat up in front of her, she said, "That was a good fight you were in the other day." Maybe she saw it differently than me. Maybe not, because then she said, "Too bad you lost." This brought back all the embarrassed feelings I had.....and more. She smiled when she said it, too. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. I think she sensed how embarrassed I truly was, because after that, she never mentioned it again.

Feb 25, 2018

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