I hate being a stepdad

My wife and I got married a little over 3.5 years ago. At the time none of her kids were living with us, so I got used to them not being around. Her youngest came to live with us maybe 6 months after we got married and my life has been H*** ever since. I met her kids when they were 3,2, and 1. I can tolerate the older 2 probably because their dad is in their lives, but the youngest one I really don't think I like him and it makes me a little sad only because he's just a child.

The feelings I have of resentment grow each and every day because I have been stuck with him in particular almost every day for the past 3 years and I cant escape him. He's now 7 and more annoying than ever. I haven't been able to spend time alone with my wife since he came back and I get angrier by the minute when I think about it.

I talk to them and always have about different things like their feelings, school, etc. I just feel like its fake, because i dont know whether I really care or not.

I find myself making a****** like comments more often now even telling my wife to stop talking about her kids to me because I'm tired of hearing about them. I wish that I could find a way to love them like they should be, but I can't. I just want them out of my life and at this moment, I'm ready to make that happen at the expense of my marriage.

I don't know what else to do about it because i feel like I'm going to snap pretty soon and I don't want it to ever get to that point. I know i knew she had kids before we got married, but I never asked for all of the drama that came with being a stepdad. My credit and finances are ruined now. I never have any privacy either alone or with my wife. I just want to come home to silence. At one point I was using my vacation days and leaving the house in the morning like i was still going to work until I knew that everyone was gone.

No time away from them is ever enough. Honestly I just want them out of my life. I love my wife, but I am completely miserable being with her. I hope for her kids to grow up to be successful men. I don't think I'll ever be good enough to be a father figure to them.


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  • This right here is why men avoid women with children. Men generally don't want to raise other men's kids. Once you are married to them they expect you to take care of the kids but will remind you they are her children if you even try to curb their behavior.

  • As a kid who grew up with a stepdad let me tell you this. When I first met him I was a little brat. Then I grew to love and respect the man. Pretty soon I viewed my step dad as my real father.

  • I hate to say it, but this relationship of yours isn't going to work. I was in a similar spot, but my second wife had kids 10 and 12, and life in the house was enough to make me insane. I had been single for a couple of years before then, and had really gotten used to having some peace. Then it was like having pure mayhem in the house 24/7. The marriage lasted a year and a half before I said we needed to call it quits. You have to take care of yourself, first and foremost. I know that sounds selfish, but it isn't.

  • My advice is the same I would give for anyone who has dealt themselves a s***** hand in life: why are you sitting there so goshdarn miserable when you should be having fun with it? Like what's the worst that could happen to you if you. I'd be walking around in my underpants, picking my bellybutton, guzzling a beer, not caring in the slightest who's around or who thinks of what. Kids are screaming? Let 'em. Kids are fighting? So what, you can let a big rippin' fart in front of everyone, scratch your crotch, and not care a single bit. It's not like your Life Boss is coming to fire you or demote you. Sure, you could snap like you say (doubtful you would, most people have much higher tolerance for what they put themselves through), or you could.. let go! Breathe a big sigh of relief, pal. Nobody who has any impact on your life is watching you, judging you, or caring one bit about what you do. Now's the time to treat life like a party, like never before!

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