I hate being a stepdad
My wife and I got married a little over 3.5 years ago. At the time none of her kids were living with us, so I got used to them not being around. Her youngest came to live with us maybe 6 months after we got married and my life has been H*** ever since. I met her kids when they were 3,2, and 1. I can tolerate the older 2 probably because their dad is in their lives, but the youngest one I really don't think I like him and it makes me a little sad only because he's just a child.
The feelings I have of resentment grow each and every day because I have been stuck with him in particular almost every day for the past 3 years and I cant escape him. He's now 7 and more annoying than ever. I haven't been able to spend time alone with my wife since he came back and I get angrier by the minute when I think about it.
I talk to them and always have about different things like their feelings, school, etc. I just feel like its fake, because i dont know whether I really care or not.
I find myself making a****** like comments more often now even telling my wife to stop talking about her kids to me because I'm tired of hearing about them. I wish that I could find a way to love them like they should be, but I can't. I just want them out of my life and at this moment, I'm ready to make that happen at the expense of my marriage.
I don't know what else to do about it because i feel like I'm going to snap pretty soon and I don't want it to ever get to that point. I know i knew she had kids before we got married, but I never asked for all of the drama that came with being a stepdad. My credit and finances are ruined now. I never have any privacy either alone or with my wife. I just want to come home to silence. At one point I was using my vacation days and leaving the house in the morning like i was still going to work until I knew that everyone was gone.
No time away from them is ever enough. Honestly I just want them out of my life. I love my wife, but I am completely miserable being with her. I hope for her kids to grow up to be successful men. I don't think I'll ever be good enough to be a father figure to them.