I feel sorry when i whip my sub

I am a guy have a ** relationship with a girl. I am a **. A dom. She is my sub.

As such I whip her from time to time.
The difficulty is that she is not aroused by pain. She submits to the whipping to show her submission.

As we have now been together for over a year I find my feelings changing.

Initially it was a huge arousal for me. This beautiful girl submitting. I would be aroused and shaking at the same time.

Now when I tell her that it is time to whip her again she goes quiet and kind of robotic in her actions. I walk her into the bedroom and remove her clothes. Then I have her lie spread eagle face down on the bed and I tie her by her wrists and ankles. If I don't then she jumps around and it takes forever. The last time I gaged her with a ** because she was screaming and I thought it would disturb the neighbours.

Then I use the whip. It is not gentle by any means. I have a woven leather whip a bit over a quarter inch in diameter that I double back. I hit her as hard as I can. The whip whistles down and connects with her bare ** and the backs of her theighs and some I do short so they wrap around the tops of her legs. She wrythes around on the bed. By the end there are welts and some broken skin. It can take over a month before the damage is healed.

When I am done, I un tie her and just hold her as she crys and sobs and trys to get her breathing under control. Usually this aftercare takes several hours. Then she is quite distant for a few days.

But now I am not enjoying it so much. Maybe I care too much for her. We are going to do it again saturday so she has the weekend to recover emotionally but it's now Friday night and I am thinking about it.

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