Catfishing A Guy.. How do I fix this without ending it?

I've been talking to this guy since April, I honestly have crazy feelings for him. He appears to be the same way.
He knows I am mentally ill.. really depressed and I take care of my mother with breast cancer. He knows I have no self esteem and doesnt understand how, and it kills me when he expresses that.
I look nothing like the pictures.. different race, name, shes the same age but I lied about my age by a few years. Shes athletic, I'm a f***** (the stereotype :/)
I have perfectionism issues.
I'm very suicidal, I dont know what to do because it hurts me that I'm constantly hurting him in this way and he thinks I'm this great looking model almost type girl who has at least some of their s*** together
I'm really depressed about this and I feel so afraid to come out because I'm embarrassed and I know he will leave and that hurts the most
I know I'm a f****** idiot but I'm so scared and I feel so alone.. I'm isolated and can't make any friends because of my lonliness.. .-.and the sad part is I cause even more bullshit on myself

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  • Degrade yourself and make sure he knows he can use and abusr you

  • You just need to be kissed for some long time which will make you feel good about yourself.

  • Tell him the truth and let the chips fall. Tell him what personal info you cooked up, and what was honest. Tell him that among the honest things was the fact that you like him. Tell him that, if he can forgive you, there'll be no more untruths or half-truths......but only say that IF you can make that happen. Tell him that you'll let HIM take the next step, whether it's ending the contact or continuing it, and then leave it at that. Don't resume the contact if he doesn't initiate. But you'll have to prepare yourself for the possibility that it won't happen, and not fall to pieces if it doesn't. Prepare yourself for the possibility that it'll be over when you click "send", and then be pleasantly surprised if he responds positively. This won't be easy, but it will be honest, and you can feel good about that, even if it produces bad results or no results. All best.

  • Yeah, you gotta come clean with him. At the same time go online as yourself. I mean be brutally honest about yourself, what you want, need and what you can give. I can guarantee you that there's someone out there who digs what you are, but you'll never find out if you aren't honest. What's the worst that could happen?

  • You can't fix it without ending it. The point is you lied, so he won't be able to trust you. No relationship can last without trust.

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