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WHY THE DIFFERENCES NOW ???
My gf of 5 years just started a new job. Her family never liked me never will no reason to it I was just raised differently like movies kind I grew up with not too much but just enough my gf on the other hand daddy’s girl had it all growing up mostly. There came a point in our relationship that her father tried to buy her out from me by wanting to get her an apartment and a new car if she went back home. Me and my gf have been going trough it since high school economically,emotionally& mentally. But we’ve stuck through it together regardless different families. Over the years I’ve grown this hate towards her family because I’m the past they all have disrespected me without not
Knowing me or without expecting me to mouth back. I grew up not having much single mom low income 3 kids. My mother worked 3 jobs to support us.! But she raised me right respect everyone regardless if they disrespect you. Treat others how you want to be treated. There’s been times when my gf would come home crying feeling sorry for me because of the harsh comments they’d make. Let’s get one thing clear I’ve been nothing but a positive impact In my gfs life I brought her into church again taught her a new language motivated her to do better have always been here for her when not even her family would worry about her. I try not to let comments or her bloodline get to me but lately it’s been taking a toll on me. Her father just got her a job at the company where half of her brothers work at. I’m scared he might use the job against her will by saying and commenting smart remarks “ you bought this” “you paid for this” my gf is the kind to do as her parents say to make them happy just like the rest of her bloodline just to keep a good job in the family company. She has never really stood up for us in our relationship. She’s been with me this long that she still hasn’t set her foot down on why I’m not allowed at their family gatherings. Or why I’m not welcomed. Meanwhile my family loves this chick including my mother. They never closed a door on her or turned their backs to her my family is respectful loveable abd humble. It’s been 5 years and I’m starting to feel like this will never work out anything I do or don’t do all I think about is what they will say next how will they disrespect us, (me), how will they brainwash my gf now. I never held her back from seeing her family. But there’s a limit to feelings and feeling like ** when to her it’s okay to go to family parties alone without me, I’m a calm guy sociable, charismatic, hard working individual. But everytime just everytime there’s a party or holidays around the corner she leaves me in our apartment alone waiting for her to come home. People have told me to put my foot down because we’ve together so long that it’s like we’re technically married. Marriage deserves respect so I’ve had my friends tell me. Majority of her brothers do as their parents say one of them was a crack head before but he claims to be god giving to get a job. Another one is a Mexican dark skinned prep want to be white or Asian guy degree and all but acts cocky 27 yrs old I’ve noticed he stares at me weirdly when we bump heads in public I have a feeling he’s gay. I see him often at stores but we don’t speak he lives a close commute to us in the suburbs. And the other two brothers are married and have kids so pretty much they still do as their parents say. I’m starting to believe her family has had an impact on our relationship it has gone downhill. Sometimes I let my insecurities kick in about her being sabotaged with that ** job just so her dad can say something about me or control her. I don’t like thinking the worst but I’ve brought it up numerous times but I get it their your parents. But your my gf I’m your bf respect is mutual things change when you go in a relationship and eventually by human law kids grow up make their own choices she’s a grown woman who still can’t seem to do what she wants it’s like she has to mention to her dad or ask permission to both her parents. It’s mentally ** with my head I don’t deserve to feel hate for people who’ve never met me or never will. As bad as I ask god to not let me
Feel this way at the end of the night it creeps up to my mind day and night the what if’s. Since my gf started that job she insists on helping me land a job there but I’ve always been independent since I was young I don’t really like taking help from anyone I’m a bit selfish the things I’ve been through made me this way with success. I insist my gf doesn’t get me a job there because I don’t want trouble to ride in her family like “why did you get him in here” “he’s just using you” “ he’s ruining dad’s image” or her dad to say something bad like I told you not to get him in etc. makes me feel like **. A wet dog unwanted. Unloved. Under appreciated by my gf not standing up and saying this is my relationship. Btw in December her little sister has a sweet 16 but I can’t go because her mom told her not to bring “me”! I brought that up to her its not okay ya go alone how would you like if if I did that? But she insist it’s my family my family but she doesn’t realize little by little I’m falling out of love, I’m growing anger, I’m hurting inside for a reason I can’t seem to find logic in, what should I do I love this woman to death but this is becoming a huge dilemma in our relationship. I can’t be splitting up her birthdays or our holidays every year with her going alone and me
Staying home while
I take her to my family gatherings what would y’all do? Btw I’ve been busting my ** off to pay for my own school working a ** job ** pay just to finish my petroleum engineering degree
Sorry hun that post was called. wareing ** hun **
Hello hun i see all sites are down again. if you see this then i only see baby girl in hospital with cancer on post called. my daughters **. love you my husband **
Dude finish your degree. See where life takes you. Your happy with what you got not with who you have!!!! don’t settle for less a engineering degree can get you far traveling,money,life. You can meet someone in your range with a degree and same ambitions as you. You came from nothing that’s why her family doesn’t like you!, that’s ** she will regret loosing you my brother. You might fall in love With someone who appreciates and respects you 100%
Listen you stepped your foot down and told your gf how ya felt. Truth is she is t taking your feelings into consideration. Leave before you hurt more I’ve been through that same boat except mine changed. Eventually my gf at the time (now my wife) opened her eyes and came to reality that she’s a grown woman and can choose who she does or does not want to be with. She stopped talking to her parents she stopped going to family events. Eventually they asked why she’d never come and they’d try to say is he keeping you away etc, she stood up and said don’t judge him when y’all don’t know him! , they stopped keeping in touch for 3 months when they realized their daughter was a woman. Weeks after that hey couldn’t hold not knowing about their daughter. Within the same week I graduated from my university and landed a job moved out of state and guess who rang the phone? Her parents they apologized numerous number of time both to me and her even until this day they apologize. if you love this woman don’t let her family get to you! Your with her not her family! Eventually like you said y’all might or might not get married and live life where her parents won’t have a say in anything. I’d just move out of state.
Leave. It will never get better. I've been married to my wife for twenty years, and her father in an idiot. If I had a pound for every time I've had to bite my tongue after he's come out with some stupid or disrespectful comment, I'd be a rich man.
You need to face facts. When I comes to women, you are just her boyfriend. They will always be her family.
Leave her, work hard, become successful and meet someone who loves and respects you.
You deserve better
Hey man, I want you to know that I was in the same boat almost two years ago now, My gf kept choosing her family over me and I told her that something needed to change because her parents didn’t like me at all and like you they wouldn’t let my gf bring me to any of their events and finally I’d had enough and I told her how I felt and she deadass looked at me and said “stop being so petty, I’m sure my parents will let you come next time” and she left AGAIN!! I was hurt and angry and had lots of emotions running through me but I decided to do what was best for me so I packed what little stuff I had there and I called my brother and he came and picked me up and I left without a word to her, we had been together 4 years and she threw it all away, and to make matters worse she kept calling me and texting me asking where I was and saying how disrespectful it was that I had just left and how ungrateful I was for her being with me and I realized I didn’t love this girl, I was just too scared to let go of her but now I’ve met the most amazing woman and in 4 months I’ll be marrying her.
It gets better man but just do what you need, don’t let her affect your life because she can’t see what she’s doing to you.