I hurt my brother for spying on me

Okay, I feel like I should start by saying my brother has always been creepy. He is annoying and makes me uncomfortable and from my point of view he deserved everything I did to him, which I'll tell you about now. I've kicked him in the ** a lot over the years. He's 17 and I'm 15. One time I caught him spying on me and my boyfriend in my room so I waited until that night while he was in the shower so that he would be completely vulnerable. I took his, at that point, brand new ps4 out of his room. The lock to our bathroom is basically broken so it was easy for me to break in. I pulled the curtain back and he freaked out and covered himself with his hands and started screaming at me to get out. I told him he was either going to let me kick him in the ** or he was going to shower with his PlayStation. He got red in the face and jumped out of shower, coming after me to grab his game. I tucked it up under my arm and turned it away while I grabbed his ** with my other hand. I squeezed the ** out of them and he tried to drop to his knees, except I held him up by them until he got back on his feet. I told him if he doesn’t stop and just let me do it he’ll lose his game and his **. Well, he was very offended because he was screaming about me being a **, and smacked my face and grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go. It hurt, I dropped his game and kicked it across the room, and I was even more ** than before. It became a contest to see who would let go first. I started squeezing with my other hand too as hard as I could, one nut in each hand. I dug my nails in and pulled down hard. I couldn't breathe at all, I thought he was gonna crush my windpipe and kill me, but I wouldn't let him do that and keep his testicles. Before that however, he started howling in pain and instead used his hands to try and pry mine off. I coughed hard and fought to catch my breath but there was no way in ** I was letting go. He started begging me not to squish his **, and I told him he's a disgusting, worthless piece of ** who spies on his little sister when she could be doing things with a boy over, and then has the nerve to hit and choke her. I said he doesn't deserve **, he's no man and he never will be. At this point, he was incredibly weak and could be moved as I pleased with a slight tug in that direction. I pulled him back over to the side of the tub and down on his knees. I held his ** down on the edge of the tub. He really hurt me so I was gonna REALLY hurt him. I stepped on his **. I didn't have shoes or anything but I stepped down hard. The flatter they got the more he groaned and tried to lift my foot and pull his ** out from under it, so I kept putting more weight on them until I had my hands on his shoulders, one ball under each foot, basically standing on them on my tip toes with all my weight. He tried shoving me off so I tried grinding my feet and hopping up and down, basically mushing his nuts up. I said it didn't have to come to this, all I wanted to do was teach him a lesson with one little kick, but now look at him. He started crying and asked what I want from him. I said I wanted to teach him a lesson. He begged me again not to crush his **, so I stepped down. He went to hold himself but I quickly snatched them back into my hand. I said I think it's funny how we cut dogs ** off and throw them in the trash where they belong because it's good for behavior and healthy. I wonder, why don't we do the same for delinquent boys like him? I said we can cut a deal. I gave him three options. 1. I get the straight razor out of the cupboard and neuter him like the dog he his. 2. I put his nut sack back under my toes and continue making grape juice the old fashioned way until they're nothing but a bag full of squishy. Or 3. Apologize for being a misogynistic sociopath, promise to be a better person, and ask me to kick your **. He deserved it, that's all I wanted to do, one naked unprotected kick, but he wouldn't let me and he took me to the point where I was ready to castrate him. I wanted to hear him ask for it. At this point he was very cooperative, and chose 3, being thankful for an option that left his testicles damaged but not completely destroyed. I had him face away from me, bend over and grab the edge of the tub and spread his legs. I Walked back, ran up, and kicked his nuts as hard as I could. I kicked his nuts so hard that I bruised the top of my foot where I made contact. I still wanted to feel them explode. He tried to scream, but no sound came out. He held his ** and cried on the bathroom floor for hours. When my mom got home she was horrified to see me with a bruised eye and dark bruises on my neck from him hitting and choking me. When I told her it was my brother, I think she nearly fainted. She screamed for him at the top of her lungs. I told her that we were even but she didn't believe how that could be. She asked how he could do that to me and he told her what I had done. She made him show her his nuts to check the damage. They were bright red and about 4x the size they were earlier. She said That he's lucky she doesn't chop them off for what he did to me lmao. She was upset I started it But said she was happy I know how to protect myself. He went to the doctor and his ** didn't rupture or anything but they tested him and he can't have babies now. Now when I kick him in the ** it doesn't matter cause they're literally worthless now lol. I always joke about cutting them off since they don't do anything but give you a weakness for my to exploit but he still wants to keep them lol. So yeah that's the story of how my brother almost killed me so I permanently ruined his testicles and almost popped them.