My Delusional Cousin

My cousin thinks she is a mermaid. She is 22 years old, and will tell you right to your face that she has been a mermaid since she was 11 years old, when she used a youtube spell to turn herself into one. She constantly wears a pearl necklace because that's where all her mermaid power is stored, and if it breaks, she will fall ill or possibly die.

Apparently, everyone can't see her tail because we don't 100% believe her. She says that her mermaid life is difficult because she doesn't live by any large bodies of water. She has this ritual where she fills a bathtub with salt water (table salt + regular nasty tub water), and bathes in it for HOURS at a time, every full moon. She does it out of fear that, if she doesn't, the spell will stop working.

In other words... For 11 years, she has been living in this fantasy world that this youtube spell has turned her into a mermaid. She has told boyfriends, family, and so many strangers, that she is a mermaid. Strangers either laugh or think she is crazy, and she gets super upset about it. She doesn't understand why people aren't more accepting of "her kind".

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  • I can't wait until this buttheaded trend of loudly identifying as something a person *obviously* isn't dies down. Face it, it's less about "living authentically" and more about "look at me, I'm so edgy". A small percentage of people are genuinely unhappy in their bodies, but 95%+ are just in it for the attention and the carte blanche to dramatically lose their minds if someone doesn't agree with them. Or are mentally unstable. Usually a little of both.

    Any intersectionalists reading this can go right ahead and screech that thinking this way makes me a ____phobe, like I just now described. That would only be more playground defensiveness for me-- and others who think the same way-- to roll eyes at. Every sniveling wail further reinforces this sensible, so-over-that-s*** viewpoint! Keep that in mind the next time you start swelling up with fabricated indignation.

  • As long as she doesn't reproduce. We've got way too many idiots on this planet as it is, she's just one example

  • Lol. Trans mermaid.

  • AHHHH!!! TRANSPHOBE!!!! *cries* *wets pants*

  • I s*** you not, my neighbour thinks he's a pirate.
    He's near 50years old and it's b***** embarrassing

  • Does he play dodgeball?

  • I am hoping that we will get laws enacted to protect holders of delusions against discrimination.

  • If the social justice tards get their way, you might get your wish. Get ready to learn how to properly address all 978 genders the way they demand.

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