SO SAD

I am a 50 year old man. I married my wife three years ago. My first wife died of leukaemia 2years earlier. My first wife and I had a daughter who was 7 years old when she died. I didn't handle my wifes death well. I took every opportunity to binge drink. Thank goodness my sister and mom were there to protect my little girl. I am very ashamed of this part of my life. I honestly believe that the events of that year triggered an alcoholism that to this day I haven't been able to conquer. Because of this I abstain from alcohol completely.
My current wife and I met at a grief support group. She had two daughters from her marriage and her husband had died in a flying accident. Over time we hit it off and subsequently married. From the beginning she and my daughter weren't great together but I really hoped that they would be able to find some middle ground and get on with 'being a family. But now I am convinced that isn't possible. My wife has put me in an impossible situation where I have choose between her and my child. I love her very much but it isn't a choice at all.
What am I supposed to do. Abandon my own daughter for the sake of my marriage? She is 11 years old now. What does this look like when she is 21 assuming I am even part of her life. What would she experience in her development knowing that her dad chose his own happiness over hers? Is it even fair for my adult wife to expect an 11 year old to behave maturely and as an equal.
This is so heartbreaking for me, but I have to leave my wife for the sake of my daughter.

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  • Daughter wins that choice everyday. Your wife is being utterly ridiculous and actually isn't considering you at all. Your daughter has already lost her mother, she doesn't need to lose her father too, especially to someone else.

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