She touched me

One night after hunting deer. relaxing after diner drinking Ihad passed out. too many drinks as usual later that night i woke up with my female cousin on me. I'm old enough to be her dad. at first i thought it was a dream... not. i tossed she aside. no words said. again its a dream/ night mare. I woke up next morning... there she was. Oh s*** Oh s*** was it real...no no no!!!!!! NO ONE WILL EVER BELEAVE IT. i'll be the one that gets all the blame cause i'm a guy. s*** s*** s*** i'm f***** twice.. didnt c**. thank god!!!Cant tell anyone. so alone. crying by my self... alone. feel life has ended if she demands I do more. sincerely f*****