Daughter asked me the Secret to a Happy Marriage.
I (F47) have been happily married for 26 years. My 21 year old daughter asked me the secret to why her father and I are so happy. I told her the first thing she needed to do is find a man who would treat her with love and respect in all things. He should be her best friend, biggest fan and constant loving support of her goals and dreams. I told her finding a man who is not controlling and abusive is the most important thing to a woman's happiness and she should run from any man who even hints at being a controlling @sshole.
Then I told her, "that's for your happiness." For his happiness, you need to make sure that you are not petty and jealous. You need to be willing to accommodate him sexually even when you are not in the mood and give him the opportunity to get you in the mood. I told her that her father and I still have s** almost everyday. I told her she should learn to give a decent bl0wj0b and surprise him with one frequently. I said, never underestimate the power of a bl0wj0b to turn around a bad day for a man who has worked hard and found himself cranky at the end of the day. I also told her she should learn to accept that her man will notice other beautiful women, but if she takes him home and does all the things for him that he imagines those other women doing, he will be faithful. I also told her she should be adventuresome. Try many different things with him sexually and do the things he likes most when he initiates those things.
My daughter looked at me a bit shocked that we were actually having this conversation, but I figured we might never have it again so I laid it all out for her. She asked me what the craziest thing her dad and I ever did and I told her, well, I'm not going to give you specifics, but we have been known on occasion to play with other couples. She wanted to know who, but I decided that was irrelevant. I told her the point is, that the more sexually open she could be, the more satisfied both she and her husband will be.
I also told her that she should make it a firm rule to never speak ill of her partner to anyone, and he should make the same agreement. Even they were having problems, she should protect his character to the outside world. We all make mistakes and if it is big enough, then they should talk to a counselor, not all of her friends. If it isn't big enough for a counselor, she can talk to one extremely trusted friend only, but she had better make sure that friend isn't going to turn her relationship into the subject of gossip and will be there to support her, not bash her partner.
I told her that they should develop common interests. Her father and I hunt together and build things together and because it was important to me, he even learned to knit and sew, things most men can't do. I also told her that she needs to have her own friends and interests and make time to get out with them and allow her partner his own life outside of the home without being jealous of his time.
We talked for almost two hours, but I think she got the idea. I thought I should share this for other daughters out there who can't talk to their mothers so openly.