Liking someone for 7 years knowing they will never like you back.

I constantly find myself thinking about him no matter what. Even when im in a relationship or when im at the darkest of time. I would risk my live for him and I would do anything just to protect him even if he does not acknowledge me or they have someone else. I would rather not tell him that I like him and live my life like this in pain, seeing him with someone else that he truly loves than hearing him rejecting me. I only see him in church and also only during Chinese New Year. My parents and his parents knows each other very well, kinda like a best friend so there is no way i can let them know i like him or things will go downhill. Ive liked him since idk roughly around 11 years old. I've always had feelings for him but wasnt really sure yet his name, image, energy always stayed in my mind no matter what. As if he was a part of an important memory thats engraved in my brain. Theres no word to describe him and how much I like/love him. Hes like a calm but immensely happy feeling you get during christmas or that feeling you get when u land after a long flight and those upbeat songs that played in the flight. Hes like a thunder. Scary, dangerous and risky yet i would kill just to hug him or listen to him talk. Its like seeing a lightning thats calm,soft, and safe. I wish i could get strike by his lightning. Ive never stop crying every night thinking about how i will never be able to get him. I know that i never will and that really do ** hurt but life is cruel that way. I hope that one day before i die, i can see him for the last time and hug him. This is a boring confession but yeah thanks for reading now go do ur stuff. Ill go sit in my empty bedroom and just breathe.

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