Found my wife's mylabbox and used pregnancy tests

I came home and the dog knocked over the garbage can in the garage. I was picking up and noticed empty boxes wrapped and tied up in multiple CVS plastic bags. I tore it open and inside was 3 different brands of pregnancy tests, negative (I’ve been shooting blanks for 10 yrs) and a mylabbox.com. I looked up ‘my lab box’ and and it’s a STD test kit.
She went to Hilton Head with friends last week and spent the first day alone because her girlfriends flight got canceled.
After 18 years of marriage, we’re still sexually active but noticed she’s made every excuse not to since she returned.
I’m former military & deployed multiple times. We don’t have an ‘open’ marriage but have an understanding if it does, be discrete and out of respect use protection.
H***, I’ve been unfaithful many times during deployment but always wore a condom. After our kids were born, I got a vasectomy.
I know she’s F&*ked my friend Jerry while I was away. I never got jealous or upset but she’s no idea he told me.
I’m NOT some stupid naive clueless guy that’s SHOCKED! his wife would f**k around AND I’m not whining about my wife being unfaithful. The pregnancy tests are one thing, if they’d been positive, there are options.
The std test kit has me concerned for her health. We’ve been together a long time and I need to ask if she’s ok. She has a strong personality and makes good decisions in stressful situations. I’m confident she would have insisted on protection. Something has her so concerned she needs to take a std test. I’m hoping it was consensual and the condom broke. I know this conversation is going to freak her out.

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  • Update:
    It’s all good.
    Her and Jerry are f**k buddies and a condom broke. Then Jerry admitted he’d been having unprotected s** with other women. She wanted to make sure she was ‘clean’ before we had s** again. She did research and got the test box. She said there’s no connection between them. They’re just having s**. I told her I’m OK with that.
    I let her know I’d found the box and was very concerned for her health. I’m glad she’s OK and relieved she’s comfortable talking with me about it. I also assured her I’m not mad our upset. I admitted I knew she’d f**ked Jerry before and that didn’t bother me either.
    She’s a great spouse and cornerstone of our family. We’ve always been truthful and that makes a strong marriage.
    I’m amazed with the number of people that divorce because a spouse is ‘just f**ing around’. Divorce is for people that have grown apart and want a relationship with someone else. Having s** is not grounds for divorce.

  • Absolutely you must talk with her about what you found. And of course stay calm and say things like you wrote. She may be freaking out in fear of what she may have brought you.

  • Lack of trust will end the marriage. if you can't be at home for her-no sense of having a wife

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