Should I or shouldn't I
I married a beautiful girl quite a few years ago. We got along well, but I learned through friends that she was cheating on me quite a lot. I don't know how many times. We were planning a move to Oregon, but a friend of mine told me that my wife had told her that she (my wife) couldn't wait to get back to Oregon so she could f*** all her old boyfriends. I was skeptical but didn't think my friend would lie. After a year or two, my wife and I split up, but reconciled 6 months later. My wife had claimed nothing ever happened and she had been faithful since we had been married.
But after a few months, I came home after work one night to find my wife missing and our roommate told me to look in the garbage. At the top was a note with an address. I walked 5 miles in the cold fuming the whole way. When I knocked on the door and a couple of guys answered, I asked where I could find my wife. They initially claimed they didn't know anyone named April. However, a few seconds later, I heard two people having s** upstairs and I made it to the top of the stairs before they stopped me. They were both bigger than me, but I was shaking with adrenaline and don't honestly know what I would have done (to them, to my wife, or to the douche f****** her) had I found what I thought was there.
But they managed to calm me down a bit and said they actually did know her and that she was there but had gone to pick up more beer. They said she should be right back any time. They took me into the garage where I was pacing and looking out the window to our car she had brought but was mysteriously still there while she had gone for beer. I pointed out our car and they said she took one of theirs. I kept looking out the door and finally spotted my wife walking toward the car from opposite direction of the house. I suspect they had finished their sexual encounter early and she was ushered out the back door and down the back side of the neighborhood houses so she could come back up the street from town toward the car. We left together and my wife denied she was the girl upstairs. I begged and asked her to tell me. She said it wasn't her.
Fast-forward to today...I've been happily married for 20 years (to my second wife). She is beautiful and sexy and faithful and I know she wouldn't dream of cheating. I know because I've checked up on her way more than most husbands might because of my past paranoia. However, I believe my past experience is leading me to desire that my current wife have s** with another man. Except, maybe I don't. And I may want to watch. Or, maybe I don't. I'm totally torn about all of it.