My third...Checkup, On my third checkup I completely embarrassed myself. I have been having abdominal pain and after a couple visits to the doctor with my mom they explained what they were going to have to do and I got to go home and think about this for 12 days, 12 days I thought about the idea that someone, I assumed my doctor would be sticking their finger in my...Butt.
Wow, Why would you even tell someone that 12 days ahead of time, Just spring it on a person and it would be better. I will not go through the process of preparing for this because...Well...It's none of your business but it did not invole sticking anything in there which may have actually been helpful.
So day of my appointment I am ready, Wake up, Shower, Shave, Do all the prep work I would normally do if I were going out with my boyfriend for a planned interlude which by the way we have not gotten to yet. Anyway I am in postion just covered in my lovely hospital gown and my doctor lifts my gown, Takes a look, Must have all been good because he gloves up and lubes his middle finger. Yeah, of course why not the middle finger, Use the thickest, Longest finger you have....Thanks for that.
He grabs his little stool, Slides it out of the way, Stands sideways to me and I feel a little rub, Aaaaaand then some pressure and OH F ME, I play, have for a little while but I don't venture back there and never really considered it but I (Involuntarily) 100% involuntary moaned. Not a little...uncomfortable moan or a grunt or whimper, Nope I went "Ooohhh...Ohhh...Ahhhh yessss" and I couldn't hold my eyes open, I was like fighting and they closed as I laid my head back, WHAT the F. I instantly blushed hardcore, So embarrassed. the nurse is standing with her back to me but there was a mirror in front of her, Her eyebrows were like halfway up her forehead, My mom is sitting in a chair to the side with her hand on the side of her head staring at the floor and the doctor puts his other hand on my stomach and says "Just relax" and that was when I realized I was clenching on his finger.
So there I am realizing he is only half way in, I look down and my lovely little flimsy hospital gown is not helping me in any way, I don't have large b**** but they are there, I don't have hard nips, What I have is a ridge going straight across from one to the other yup, No way to hide that, A ridge looks like a little mountain going straight across and by the way, Thanks mom for my inherited...Large nips, I have seen hers and that's exactly where I got em from. I relax as much as I can and the doctor is having to push his finger in, I am staring at the cieling and every time he slides a little further in I twitch and let out a little sharp breath.
Finally, Thank god, Finally he is all the way in and his finger feels about a foot long and he does his examination, My mom stands beside me and wipes a tear off my cheek and asks if I am ok, He feels around and my mountain ridge hangs out and everytime he moves his hand I twitch, Finally he is done and then he pulls his finger out and peels off his gloves, Puts on new gloves and I am like Oh god, What now and then he lubes up and goes in the other hole but he doesn't put in one finger he stuffs two in there, I don't even use two so this whole experience is just F'ing lovely, It took 17 minutes, I looked at the clock right before he stuck a finger up my butt.
Looking back now I am even more embarrassed because I didn't have the same reaction when he put his fingers in the proper hole, Anyway found the cause of my abdominal pain and now I get to have surgery...FML.