Trying to work things out in the marriage.
Honestly, never thought about cheating ever. A womans presence is alluring. I rode this train back from work 5 days a weeks, same routine. Usually same car, try for the same seat etc. I knew a bunch of people from this commute. It started as a casual, hello, how's your day, what's up. I met a quiet soft spoken lady, I've said hello to about 30-40x. So I sat next to her and talked about anything and listened to her provide some details about herself. We got to be friends. I used to drive to work on Wednesdays and I offered to give her a ride home, and she accepted. So, I meet her close to her office and we'd zip out of town towards the Shore area where She lived about 12 miles from me. She was English and had family in Australia She told me she had a previous marriage where her husband was abusive, but didn't dwell on it, which I didn't bring up after she told me. I told her I was married and we have couple of children. I must have given her a ride about 8x before we ever had a drink before I ever touched her, it led to an intense sexual relationship. Our activities magnified, I was spending a lot of time away from my wife & family. I admit, my actions were hurtful and I allowed myself to become involved, when I didn't have to. Eventually my Wife found out. She gathered her things and moved out, she had a girlfriend about a couple of miles from our Home, and she could work and see the children, while she was planning her next move. I told this woman I met, I'm going to have to stop seeing her, and that didn't go well either, so it was one big mess. Weeks passed by. I had to hire a Nanny to pickup the children from School or be capable to care for them if they got sick, and watch them when I had to work nights. My wife decided, she was going to experience life as 34yr old single woman w/o worries of a husband or children. So this whole ordeal was my causing and now I'm planning for the rest of it to play out. I did run into my wife and her girlfriend one night, I was waiting for my Car which the attendant was going to get, when I saw the two women get out of a car with 2 men. My wife didn't notice me, she was being held by this guy, who had is arm around her waist as they walked up the steps. She was wearing a yellow one piece mini dress, with a plunging reverse V and yellow wedge heels with a a scarf. She looked ** and happy. Seeing her made me sick, but I got what I deserved!
About 3 months later, I was Home in the afternoon, interviewing some Nannies when my wife showed up at our house. She had taken the day off from work and was planning on picking up some things, and talk to me about her intensions of divorcing me. So she came in, and paused while giving the woman I talking to about the position a cool stare, and she said, who's this! I said its a woman I'm interviewing for child care for after school etc. She didn't say anything else, she walked upstairs, and I proceeded to continue my interview. About 3 minutes passed, my wife walked partly down the steps, and said to the Nanny, get the "_uck out of my House" Which the woman promptly picked up her purse and belongings and left. I was looking at my wife and she was saying to me as she was now sitting beside me, We are going to counseling and we are going to work this out.
We have reconciled, and that was a few years back now. For us, we did make it. It took awhile, gaining her trust, and myself accepting her behavior having pushed her aside for another woman. My wife is an amazing woman. I know I'm not perfect, but at least I have someone I know who'll be there for me always, as I will be there for her after coming so close to losing her over my selfish behavior.
I'm sure she had her fun with new lovers so stop kicking yourself.