Im still in love and miss Neelam Ahmad

I met this woman on Omegle in 2011. I was trying to get my nerve up to be able to play music in front of real life people again by using Omegle. One night this gorgeous, beautiful, **, long black hair, dark eyed woman ends up on my screen. She requested a few Pearl Jam songs which I played to the best of my ability. And over the next few hours I proceeded to fall in love with this woman. I’ll make this super short as it’s truly a long and drawn out painful story. Blah blah blah many years of talking/not talking happen. I try and figure out a way to marry her. But know in my heart it’s not going to happen.
We emailed each other this year, just to say some things that I guess needed to be said. She is /engaged married now, so I’m not going to push myself into her life. But I needed to tell someone I dreamed of her last night, and it was the most amazing dream I’ve had in my life. I was in her old house in Croydon, and her whole family was there, it was Christmas and we were together. I should mention I hav PTSD, depression, and anxiety and when I have emotional dreams I wake up still feeling what I dreamed of. So this morning even though I woke up happy, I was in tears. I realized this morning I will and continue to love the ** out of her. She meant more to me than any person whose ever been in my life. I’ve told her this but I truly hope she believes it. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest as I needed to tell someone. It’s Christmas Eve today, and I hope the man she is with, spoils her rotten as I would if we were together. Merry Christmas all!

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