Because I stay silent
I knew, from the very beginning, that I had a huge crush on my friend. But I didn't think he felt the same, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship by telling him, I decided to just try to ignore it. I thought it would pass eventually and I'd look back in the future and see it as some insignificant crush.
But then he got a girlfriend. I felt myself flood with jealous rage like I never have before.
I don't even hate her. She's a nice girl, and she can't be all that bad if he likes her. But I find myself unable to speak to her, even though we have a lot in common and in any other circumstances we would probably hit it off and become friends.
I'm starting to wonder if I must be in love with him. I don't want to be. It's too complicated and too painful. I just want to be friends with him, but I can't help the way I've been feeling.
I just wish I could tell someone. I wish I could tell him. Maybe if I told him, he'd laugh, I'd laugh, we'd never mention it again.