I get hard thinking about r*pe

I get hard thinking about r*pe (me doing it to someone, someone doing it to me, someone did it to someone else and tbey both enjoyed it, ect) I don't condone r*pe or sexual abuse at all and some of my friends have been r*ped or molested. I have never personally been r*ped, molested, or sexually abused, however, I have quite the collection of traumatic incidents and mental illnesses under my belt (I mention this for context).
I'm 14

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