I hate who i am and that i don't care about what i've done.
I've bullied my closest friends, allowing them to develop deep insecurities about themselves. i found someone that i loved, and i treated her like an object, told others about what we had done together, and inevitably did horrible things to her that i'll never be able to take back. i completely ruined her confidence. she never deserved any of it. i feel myself becoming number and number every single day to everything that i've done to everyone, but yet i still enjoy the same comforts that i have had everyday for the past... well, my whole life. i'm terrified that what i've done will come out, and i'll have no friends, no job prospects, no access to education, but i'm equally terrified for nothing to ever be said, and i'll be allowed to continue my life as i please. i ruined peoples lives. people i love. none of my closest friends talk to me anymore. i pushed them all away. i just want something to happen. i don't know what, yet, but something has to happen. i should be in prison, not in bed at home.18 days