Wight Loss and Body Image Problems
TW: Mentions of body fat, skin, stretch marks, and eating disorder. If that's not your cop o'tea, then please see yourself out. //
So I am fairly overweight. I'm not going to try and candy coat this. I've always been a heavy person, and my binge eating disorder doesn't do me any favors with that. But last year was when things started to get bad. I had three work related injuries in the span of 6 months, including a broken ankle and several pulled muscles in my back. After I broke my ankle on the job, I left to focus on healing. I was also getting a lot of unprofessional flack from my managers whom essentially complained to everyone else (including my sister and my friends) how I was useless on the floor unless I could move with a purpose.
Well, hovered around 225 at the start of 2020, and injured myself around May. By December when my ankle was finally healed and ready to return to work, I was weighing in at 290 pounds. This was the heaviest I've ever been. So I decided to make some lifestyle choices and start working out, cutting back on food, and eating healthier overall. This week I weighed in at 240. The loss is visible from my back and sides, though my stomach hasn't changed in the way I would like... The weight loss has left my stomach looking...pruney? There are a lot of stretch marks and hanging skin. Not fat, just skin.
I'm happy that I lost this much weight (and I want to lose more!), but now I feel twice as insecure about my body than I did prior to dieting and exorcizing. I've tried scar creams, sit ups, weights, and a variety of other home remedies. So far none of it has helped to the extent I was hoping for. My fiancé is supportive and tells me I look great, but I don't FEEL great. I can fit into tighter clothes and I can feel my ribs, but as soon as the pants come off, the appearance of my stomach takes a tole on me. I just want to be confident.