My dad is in prison
My dad is in prison and I was numb for all of this time. I cannot forgive myself from being this unhelpful in his life
I am so sorry
Dad I am really really sorry
I love you
I don’t even know what has happened to you for all of this time, because you never open up. I can’t help your situation but at least I could be there for you mentally. And I didn’t do it. I was scared to get dragged into this mess with you. I don’t want you to suffer. I want you to be happy and content. I am so so sorry
I am lost in my life because of this whole thing. Your imprisonment made everything so messy. I wish we could go back in time. You always keep that smile on your face and tell everyone that you’re fine. That’s very brave of you, but also it distances all of us from you, cause you never share your struggles. Even in the worst of times. We as a family gave up on you, even though we shouldn’t have. I know that. We are guilty. And so are you. I’m so tired of blaming everyone and myself. We all f***** up. Dad, I really really hope that you will make it. Not for you to brag about it, like look at me I did it in-spite of everyones words, like you always say, but just genuinely for yourself. I want you to be happy. I only started worrying when I heard that you became ill in prison. I was so detached because of how much I resented your actions and how you made all our family and relatives pay for this. I foolishly assumed that I can be relatively unaffected by this. But oh was I wrong. I am a bad person in this situation. We are, as a family, to completely abandon you, when I know you wouldn’t do that. As much of a flawed person you are, you were my role model growing up, and I can’t hate you for all of your wrong doings.
I want to come visit you, but at the same time it’s the hardest thing for me to do.